A TOUGH SPOT

As humans, we know we are not perfect, but we strive for perfection, in ourselves and in others. We aim to be perfect and take steps everyday to enhance our lives and the lives of those who matter to us, but we also create picture perfect images in our minds of what we want key persons in our lives to be. We know perfection does not exist, because we are a work in progress and that is perfection in itself. We know that the perfection we seek is a product of the definitions of our culture and all the “dos” and “don’ts” stored in our minds over our lifetime. We know that to conform to those paradigms of what should and should not be, or what must and must not be, in the micro sense of it, is virtually impossible to achieve, merely because it is an imposition based on truths, half truths, and non-truths learned over the years. However, we keep pursuing that perfection for ourselves, and that is ok if we do not affect our quality of life and the one of others around us in that futile pursue, and we keep perspective on the essence of life along the way.

Achieving perfection, the perfection of the material world, is tough on us, but even more so when we transfer that image of perfection to our loved ones or people who are important in our lives in any sense. We usually tend to award a perfection state to our parents, for example. It is normal human behavior to idealize loved ones over time. We know our parents were not perfect, but yet, in most cases, over time we forget all the negative associated with our upbringing and canonize our parents, both or one of them. It is admirable to appreciate and treasure the goodness and virtues of people, but it is very unfair to them for us to grant them sainthood for many reasons. When we stop seeing humans as humans with flaws and imperfections, and bestow sanctity into them we put them in a very tough and unfair spot. All individuals should be viewed in terms of their merits, but they should be allowed to err, to fall, to go astray, and to be humans, no matter their relationship with us or their title. If we fail to do that, our love and relationships start being conditioned also to our own definition of perfection imposed into the other person, risking a truer and fairer connection between both parties.

We are brothers, sisters, daughters, sons, fathers, mothers, friends, but ultimately we are all human with the same vulnerabilities as every other human being. Lets cherish and value our humanity with the conditions associated with it, and strive to be better to strengthen our relationships with ourselves and others, imperfect as we all are.