I recently went back home to Puerto Rico, and took my two-year-old son with me. Upon our arrival, everyone was overly excited to see us. We were very happy to see our family and friends as well. As expected, everybody paid extra and special attention to Paul Vincent at all times, turning him into the center of the world in which he was the main and most important star.
As the days went by, I could not help to notice the special attention his genitalia was getting. I realized then something that I have grown up with all my life: the perpetual worship of the male reproductive organ. My son’s genitalia was the object of attention, questions such as: “to how many girlfriends does this belong to?”, “to whom does this belong to?”; and comments such as “this is mine”, and “I am going to get it”. To people from other cultures these comments might sound perverted and outrageous, but to the Puerto Rican culture these are comments that have been passed on from generation to generation, unquestioned, celebrated, and widely accepted.
For some reason, those comments hit me now, although I have heard them all my life, directed toward boys, of course. This time those words got me thinking: what is it so important about male genitalia that deserves to be celebrated on a regular basis? Why is everybody, males and females, obsessed with babies penises and teach them they are the epitome of their lives? Why has no one questioned the penis worship before? (At least, not anyone I know). And lastly, does anybody celebrate female genitalia?
Growing up in Puerto Rico I cannot remember anytime my genitalia was celebrated as a baby or a small girl. Nobody asked to how many boyfriends my genitalia belonged to; nobody said how big or pretty it was, or told me I would break many hearts with it (or get a lot of penises with it for that matter). I am sure someone would be totally disturbed at this article, especially when the questions about my genitalia come about, however, it seems totally permissible, admissible, and even expected to talk about male genitalia in those terms, at least in the Puerto Rican culture. My point is, I finally realized machismo and its perpetuation starts with the adoration and reverence of the male penis (which by the way, the bigger the better according to my culture), by all in society.
Needless to say I had to advice everyone to stay off and clear my child’s genitalia, as it is just that and not a totem, and I do not want my child to think of himself in terms of his penis as it does not define who he is or who he will be. I am not against celebrating any body part, really, but I do not want my son to get the narrow perspective that he is his penis and that his penis controls him and dictates his present and future behavior and place in society.
14 comments:
Estoy conociendo tu lugar por priemra vez... te sigo leyendo y practicando miu inglés.
Un abrazo desde Buenos Aires
MentesSueltas
Como tips, te digo que sería muy sabio que tambien escribieras la traducción....digo por los que no somos diestros en el ingles.
Quisiera pero el tiempo no me da. Gracias por la visita. Hay mucho en español también aquí.
You are right, we grow up as if we had to be ashamed for being women and not having a penis. And your post also reminds me those spam e-mails I get about "penis enlargement" when, obviously, I don´t need that information. :-)
And now it turns out that the important thing is having 2 X chromosomes! :-D
http://lacostillaincomoda.blogspot.com/2006/11/torpes-infantiles-megalmanos-pero.html
Gracias por tu visita, ahora le agregué el link de la música al poema, escuchalo.
Un beso dominguero.
Well -I am surprise! Not sure in what context I will place such comments.
The double standard still in place and unfortunatley most people accept it.
muchos abrazos
The author of this vane piece transpires tremendous frustration.
What gives you the right the slain our culture based on the opinions, styles and believes of your “hood”?
Seems like the Schwarzenegger stupidity; measuring nations and cultures based on bias assumptions, born from brains that reached some intellectual “status” but no wisdom.
Hidden on daily basis are the “boricuas” who challenge life and win.
We didn’t invent “Enzite” or created happy and “LIVING LARGE” Bob or
Talk shows like “size matters” and a booming $700 billion porno industry
that sickens your Americanized society minds and floods the web reaching
Both adults and children on the intimacy of their homes.
Just look at creation. Male species were created with presence, strength and beauty .Our genitalia is part of our package; elimination, reproductive and sexual enjoyment….same as yours.
The old war……feminism vs. machismo…….a female attempt to make men feel guilty of their manhood, wanting men to become more “ female oriented”
Working, educated and successful women raising children on their own and poisoned their minds with the notion that the man that left them is enough evidence that all men are equal and not worthy.
No wonder many children and youngsters are confused about their sexuality, listening to mothers pouring resentment and anger.
Imagine a male child listening to his mother saying men are only about its penis, he may be led to think “maybe I shouldn’t become one”.
A man celebrates women beauty in all manifestations. Intellectual, spiritual and of course physical ; breasts, hips, buttocks and thighs inspire attraction and triggers desires.
From plain visual perspective women genitals are not very eye appealing unless connected to the libido or sexual act.
Smell, taste, texture, sensitivity and size and muscular control during intercourse drive us to celebration or disappointment, and believe me, there were unforgettable experiences.
Machismo vs. Hombria: Manhood is about doing what we are destined to do by design: we are to conquer, subdue, take dominion and multiply not only multiple descendants but finances and resources.
We are to love women as we love our selves, nurture, protect and provide.
Manhood; fantasize, create, innovate, implement ways of reaching higher heights with their women in life, relation, communication and of course sexually. It’s taking the time to allow our eyes to closely and deeply explore the female body, learn about the tones of their skin, hidden details.
Our hands should memorize every contour of their bodies, skin texture, touch reactions, motions, pleasure, and tempo and also inspire our minds with the very presence of the much loved one when absent or apart.
None of the above will be reached with love, because real manhood is about loving.
We cannot perpetuate the attack on manhood mixing it in with machismo, especially in our Latin culture.
Define machismo anyway you want to, but don’t include the whole culture in your brackets.
There are more important battles to fight. Let’s teach our children they were born men and men are not optional creation. We have a purpose to fulfill
And a mission to accomplish.
Anonymus: It is always so great to have visitors like you! I agree with what you say, and do not generalize. I can only talk about my experience in my "hood" regarding the topic. I hope not all "hoods" are like mine in that regard. If you read my whole blog I am not a feminist at war against men; by the contrary. I celebrate manhood as well, not machismo. I love the male body, including the penis, and I am not against men or their penises. I want my child to learn about all those things you point to, about how to be a man and not a macho. Each one of us has a special place, males and females, and we should honor and celebrate that in equal terms, embracing our differences to complement each other, not to undermine.
You seem like the kind of men all men should be, but unfortunately we need more of you, and women also need to learn to value and celebrate ourselves the way we are, to be able to be better mothers and life companions.
It is always refreshing to know that there are men like you on earth. Spread the joy!
Agradezco tus palabras, siempre serán bienvenidas. Lamentablemente, creo que perdiste el sentido que quise darle. Las mujeres lo han entendido perfectamente. Otros hombres también. No intento mancillar mi cultura. Mi escrito no es un boicot, o una queja, sino una observación de algo bien real y latente. Yo que he estudiado e investigado la diferencia de géneros y cómo esta surge, se perpetúa y nos afecta de manera positiva y negativa, y por ser mujer sé de primera mano de lo que estoy hablando. No soy feminista y nunca lo seré. No estoy en pelea con los hombres. Los amo y siempre así será pues de las personas más preciadas que poseo son hombres, incluyendo a mi hijo. Soy mujerista. Creo en el desarrollo pleno y completo del potencial de la mujer en equidad con el hombre, celebrando cada cual sus diferencias y su sitial. Dios nos ha dado capacidades fabulosas a cada uno que no podemos duplicar (a pesar de que leí que científicos han descubierto que el gen Y, responsable por el sexo masculino, está desapareciendo...) y es digno de admiración, celebración y de ponerlos a trabajar según nuestro llamado.
Has visto los estragos que han causado la inequidad de género en el mundo? Tal vez porque vives en Puerto Rico, sitio en el cual aún perdura la inequidad de género pero la mujer se ha abierto paso con mucha tenacidad, pero si miras al resto de Latinoamérica y al resto del mundo verás la injusticia social y corporativa que crea la diferencia de género.
Volviendo al artículo: escribo y me sostengo. No tengo miedo de decir lo que pienso, aunque he aprendido en ser más sabia con mi tiempo de decir las cosas, pero siempre con valentía. Mi mente y mi corazón están a la vista, expuestos, y aunque valoro tu perspectiva del impacto de las palabras en el futuro, siempre tendré la valentía de defender lo que he dicho porque es evidencia de lo que he vivido en carne propia. Los issues que expongo son reales, aunque gracias a Dios a ti no te hayan tocado. Probablemente porque eres hombre, y enhorabuena. Yo disfruté de tu hombría y pienso que es fantástica, y otros hombres deberían aprender de ti tal y como tú has aprendido.
Supongo que para algunas cosas, hay que ser mujer para entenderlas...
Espero que tus hijos disfruten de sus vidas en el sexo que les otorgaste de la mejor y más responsable manera, a la guía de tan sabio padre.
Creo que es una cuestión de culturas y siempre debemos de respetarlas. Por supuesto, hay cosas que se deben de cambiar, sino el mundo no evolucionaría. Pero los cambios siempre se han de hacer con respeto y educación. Por otra parte, cada uno tiene derecho a elegir su sexualidad y esa es la que le corresponde, no la que nosotros queramos imponer.
I think it's a question of cultures and we must always respet them. Certainly, there are things that must change, if not the World would not evolve. But the changes always have to be done by respect and education. On the other hand, each one has right to choose his/her sexuality and that is the one that corresponds to him/her, not that we let's want to impose.
muy interesante tu relato
Que se celebren los genitales de ambos!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is great and of course funny. I was surprised by the lack of boundries when it came to my son's "privates" He didn't get to run around naked as much as he would have liked. I just didn't know where this was coming from. I still get comments because he has huge feet........LOL Great post!
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