The Wage Gap Between Men and Women: Explaining the Unexplainable

The topic of the wage gap between men and women in the workplace is one with no easy explanation, maybe in part because the roots of this reality are rooted in the patriarchal societies we have all been raised in. Awareness is always the beginning of the path to enlightment. Lets all be aware and create favorable changes towards equality...

Wage Gap Between Men and Women: Explaining the Unexplainable

1. Women are perceived as unqualified to handle financial work.
2. There is the perception among men that women are not strong leaders.
3. There is a myth that women allow their emotions to influence administrative decisions.
4. Women and minorities are disproportionately represented in upper leadership positions.
5. Women and minorities are still concentrated in lower managerial positions in corporations.
6. Upper management is still dominated by white males.
6. Discrimination, racism, exclusion, prejudice, stereotyping, and bias in the workplace are existent realities.
7. Organizational culture is still built with white male constructs.
8. Women are still responsible for housework, which prevents them from interaction beyond work schedules, which creates segregation and discrimination for further promotion.
9. Women are not trusted and are not given as many opportunities as men for more demanding jobs, which could advance their careers, due to prejudice towards the capability of women to commit to the organization.
10. Organizations are constructed around the male norm which makes women not to see themselves as equal to men and men not to see themselves as equal to women, and women to have to work harder to prove themselves and act more like men to fit in.
11. Men exert power through economic, educational, judicial, and political control.
12. Women of color face double form of discrimination in the labor market due to their gender and ethnicity, and racial characteristics such as skin color reduce earning potential and attainment.
13. Hispanics are more likely to anticipate both gender and ethnic discrimination in the workplace.
14. Wage secrecy: wage data is kept secret so women and minorities can be underpaid without knowing it.
15. Women often undervalue themselves when negotiating salary, which labels them as underachievers and perpetuates wage discrepancies.
16. Retaliation from companies toward women who sue for wage discrimination.
17. Due to lower incomes, women tend to be them ones who stop their careers to stay home with the family.
18. Women-dominated jobs are not valued the same as men-dominated ones, paying 20% less on average.
19. Denial-companies do not want to admit discrimination.
20. Employers discriminate against women in childbearing age.
21. Women have fewer years of experience, work fewer hours per year, are less likely to work full-time, and leave the workforce for longer periods of time than men.

15 AÑOS Y UN FUTURO

En nuestra tradición hispana, una de las cumbres en la vida de una mujer es la llegada de su cumpleaños número 15. No sé cómo comenzó esta tradición y hasta ahora no se me había ocurrido explorar su origen y procedencia. Sin embargo, me parece interesante, por falta de otra palabra más adecuada en mi limitado léxico, cómo se defiende esa tradición contra viento y marea. La fiesta de quinceañera es vista como el regalo más importante que se le da a las jóvenes durante su vida (antes de su boda). En Latinoamérica deben existir variadas costumbres sobre cómo llevar a cabo este ritual de los 15 años. En Puerto Rico, los padres de la niña, la futura quinceañera, deberán costear todos los gastos relacionados con la fiesta de quince años para su hija. Esto representa una suma de dinero considerable, muchas veces docenas de miles de dólares. Los padres comienzan a ahorrar para este evento mucho antes de su llegada, o asumen deudas en instituciones prestatarias para poder incurrir en el gran gasto llegado el momento.

No importa la condición económica para que las familias quieran hacerle su fiesta de quinceañera a la niña. Pobres y ricos se envuelven en esta práctica, los pobres haciendo el “sacrificio” para “darle” la fiesta de quinceañera a su preciada hija. Me parece irónico que los menos pudientes hagan el llamado “sacrificio” para pagarle una fiesta de quince años digna de una princesa a su hija, pero luego en dos o tres años, cuando se acerca la fecha en que su hija se gradúa de escuela superior, los padres aleguen que no tienen dinero para enviar a su hija a la universidad. Me parece insólito que no se promueva el ahorro para financiar una educación post secundaria para la niña, pero se haga el “sacrificio” de pagar miles de dólares en una fiesta para unas horas.

La educación es un activo que no deprecia y le añade valor en todas las dimensiones a una persona. Una fiesta es un evento efímero, y su gratificación se acaba tan pronto acaba el evento. Irónico también es el hecho de que, en unos años, la joven mirará sus fotos de su fiesta de quince años y odiará su traje, su pareja, los trajes de las damas de su séquito, el traje que usó su mamá, su peinado, maquillaje, accesorios y zapatos. Es muy difícil que al cabo de los años la joven reniegue de la educación universitaria que recibió.

El futuro de una joven es más importante que una fiesta. No estoy en contra de la tradición. Me parece hermosa. Si la familia tiene las finanzas para costear el quinceañero y la universidad de la chica, adelante con ambos. Si la familia debe escoger entre un quinceañero y la educación superior para su hija, deben ganar su educación y su futuro.

2008

Happy 2008!

Hard to believe, but we have come to see a new year coming our way. Holidays are once again behind us and forgotten, and the new year is fastly going. Slowly people are leaving behind new year’s resolutions to make way to the reality of everyday life. Happy 2008! May countless blessings come your way and do not cease.

¡Feliz 2008!

¡Increíble pero cierto! Otro año nos ha llegado. Las fiestas navideñas ya quedaron atrás en el olvido y el nuevo año está pasando con rapidez. Lentamente la gente deja atrás sus resoluciones de año nuevo para darle paso a la realidad de la vida. ¡Feliz 2008! Que incontables bendiciones vengan y no cesen.

PENIS VS VAGINA

“Girls’ sexuality is only seen as a negation of the boy (Frithiof, 1985). Much of boys’ sexual identification is linked to the fact that they have a penis; parents often express appreciation when a boy displays his penis, which gives the boy the opinion that he has a valuable body part (Chodorow, 1988). When girls are seen to touch their sexual organs, however, reactions are often more negative. These differing values we carry with us on what is suitable or unsuitable behavior for boys and girls are passed on to the child right from birth as conscious or unconscious aspects of the conceptual world of their mothers and fathers, and later from other adults and surrounding society. Turner and Gervai (1995), claim that gender is one of the first and probably most obvious characteristics children learn in categorizing other people. Therefore, gender is also crucial to the development of self esteem and sexual identity”.

Abstract from Sexual Abuse of Children. Child Sexuality and Sexual Behavior by Ing Beth Larson, Dept. of Health and Environment, Division of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Linköping University.

LIFE CIRCUMSTANCES/ CIRCUNSTANCIAS DE LA VIDA

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them." George Bernard Shaw.

"La gente siempre está culpando sus circunstancias por lo que son. Yo no creo en circunstancias. La gente que triunfa en este mundo es la gente que se levanta y busca las circunstancias que quieren, y cuando no las pueden encontrar, las hacen." George Bernard Shaw.

ROMPEOLAS

ROMPEOLAS

Voy a hacer un rompeolas

con mi alegría pequeña...

No quiero que sepa el mar,

que por mi pecho van penas.

No quiero que toque el mar

la orilla acá de mi tierra...

Se me acabaron los sueños,

locos de sombra en la arena.

No quiero que mire el mar

luto de azul en mi senda...

(¡Eran auroras mis párpados,

cuando cruzó la tormenta!)

No quiero que llore el mar

nuevo aguacero en mi puerta...

Todos los ojos del viento

ya me lloraron por muerta.

Voy a hacer un rompeolas

con mi alegría pequeña,

leve alegría de saberme

mía la mano que cierra.

No quiero que llegue el mar

hasta la sed de mi poema,

ciega en mitad de una lumbre,

rota en mitad de una ausencia.

Julia de Burgos

LEARNING IS POWER, EDUCATION IS KEY

To be aware is to have open eyes to the world. When one lives in the dark, one cannot see. When there is light, one can see forward, see the path ahead, see the ground one steps on. To live in the dark is to live out of the reach of fortune. That is like to be uneducated.

You have heard me say more than once “do not sacrifice the present for the future”. Sometimes our life circumstances are so overwhelming that recurring to a quick fix seems like the right solution for our misfortunes. Thinking like that is like having an ailment and taking medicine to ease the pain instead of targeting the cause of the illness in order to live pain free and healthy for the rest of your life. Denying the future by attempting to only worry about the present poses serious risks to your quality of life for the rest of your life.

When you don’t know about an opportunity you cannot take advantage of it. However, once you know you can take action and grasp that opportunity to make the most out of it, for you and others. When you don’t know any better it’s very hard to change your circumstances. But when you learn, options unveil in front of you and all of a sudden you have options. The best way to stay connected, engaged, aware, awake, present, and in an advantage position is to through education.

All forms of education are good, and formal and informal education are great ways to make you a better individual. When you learn you can see and do things differently, change, evolve, grow. Education is the key that opens doors to endless possibilities and a better life. Hold the key that has been offered to you and open as many doors as you dare dreaming of. When you hold the key nobody can take it away from you. Open wide the doors to your future.

NO ES DE DONDE SE VIENE/IT IS NOT WHERE WE COME FROM

NO ES DE DONDE SE VIENE, SI NO HACIA DONDE SE VA...

(Scroll down for message in English)

El pasado muchas veces nos tortura como un verdugo, recordándonos hechos, sensaciones, emociones, eventos, lugares, trayendo a la vida temores, miedos, y lo más oscuro de nuestro ser. Cargamos con nuestro pasado de muchas formas, en nuestros hombros, en nuestro pecho, en nuestra psiquis, en nuestro corazón, en nuestras acciones diarias y esporádicas, en nuestros sueños y la reflexión de nuestra imagen en el espejo. Nuestro pasado es parte de nosotros como huella indeleble, perpetuo, imposible de cambiar. Esta aquí para recordarnos de dónde venimos, pero no tiene que dictarnos hacia dónde vamos.

Mi madre biológica fue madre en su adolescencia temprana. La primera esposa de mi padre me torturó y abusó brutalmente físicamente. Crecí en condiciones de extrema pobreza y fui criada por personas de baja escolaridad. Durante toda mi vida fui perseguida por mensajes derrotistas y negativos que provenían de todos los ángulos y frentes. Sin embargo, en un momento me di cuenta de que yo tenía el poder de aprender del pasado pero dejarlo atrás para construir el futuro de mi preferencia. No es de dónde se viene, sino hacia donde se va lo que cuenta…

Hoy es el primer día del resto de tu vida. No lo vivas en el pasado. Tienes la capacidad de decidir tu futuro, desde hoy. Tu nacimiento y tu vida temprana no estuvieron en tu control. Hoy decide comenzar a edificar la vida que ambicionas y atrévete a ser feliz.
It is not where you come from, it’s where you are going what matters…Make today the first day of the rest of your life.

EXPECTATIONS

Expectations are a normal human process. Whether we want to have them or not, whether we want to form them or not, whether we want to admit we have them or not, expectations are a normal result of being aware. When we know, we construct expectations based on that knowledge. When we assume, we construct expectations based on those assumptions. When we build relationships, we construct expectations based on the feelings we develop from those relationships.

Expectations come from within us and are geared toward others and our own selves. Everybody around us forms expectations for us. Expectations come from our family, friends, coworkers, and even people who do not know us personally. Personal expectations help us build the paths we walk on to fulfill our goals, dreams, and aspirations, but sometimes, those same expectations can put too much pressure to our own identity. We have expectations from all fronts and sorts, and often times it is easy to ride on the wave to fulfill everybody else’s expectations, neglecting our own. Many times, expectations are unfair or simply unrelated to our nature or reality, and those kinds of expectations can come from others and from us. Sometimes, the expectations we have for ourselves could be a reflection of those of others and not necessarily our own.

To live without expectations is probably one of the hardest things to do, as, for example, when we love, we expect to be loved in return, to the same degree and extent, and others who love us expect the same from us. Getting rid of expectations seems like getting rid of our humanity, however, having a kind and compassionate approach to expectations might help acknowledging that every human being is entitled to respond to the calling of their own expectations for themselves in order to stay truth to their core. When we accept and focus on our true, genuine, and purest expectations with regards to our lives and all that comprises it, we get closer to being at peace and irradiating it for others to see.

WOMEN DEEP/ MUJERES PROFUNDAS

Artículo en español le sigue...

I went to Puerto Rico last weekend. As usual, I saw a lot of people that are very important and dear to my heart. I was only there for a rather brief stay, however, the depth of my visit was not commensurate with the measure of the time I spent there. With time, I have come to realize when one wants to be with someone, one makes it happen. A minute, an hour, or a lifetime is time well spent when we are in the presence of the people who are close to our heart. As life gets in the way and we have less opportunities for physical proximity with our friends and family, even stunted moments are worth an eternity to our souls when we make time to spend with loved ones and people who we care about.

I was able to see two of my dearest friends and truly life sisters, and I treasured the hours we spent conversing, baring our souls, minds, and spirits to each other like only women can do. Of course, even when we spend a lifetime talking about our lives, thoughts, and feelings all the time in the world is never enough, however, even a minute is precious. I appreciated the legitimacy and profundity of our experience together because it mirrors the true nature of womanhood. Connecting at such a deep level, being able to get rid of flesh and speak from our essence without fear of being judged, misinterpreted, or degraded is a gift women give to each other. I am so happy to be a woman and to have such wonderful women in my life who I can call mis hermanas.

Fui a Puerto Rico el fin de semana pasado. Como de costumbre, vi a mucha gente muy importante y querida para mí. Sólo estuve en mi isla brevemente, sin embargo, lo significativo de mi visita no es medible con la cantidad de tiempo que pasé allí. Con el tiempo he llegado a aprender que cuando se quiere estar con alguien hay que hacerlo realidad. Un minuto, una hora o una vida es tiempo bien empleado cuando disfrutamos de la presencia de la gente que amamos. La vida se antepone y nos ofrece menos oportunidades a diario para disfrutar de manera presencial de nuestros amigos y familiares. Sin embargo, aún los más ínfimos momentos valen una eternidad cuando tomamos tiempo para dedicárselo a las personas que importan en nuestra vida.

Tuve la oportunidad de ver a dos de mis mejores amigas y hermanas de la vida, y atesoré las horas que pasamos conversando, desnudando nuestras almas, mentes y espíritus como sólo las mujeres pueden hacerlo. Ciertamente las mujeres podemos pasar una vida entera hablando de nuestras vidas, pensamientos y sentimientos sin que todo el tiempo del mundo sea suficiente, pero aun un minuto es preciado. Aprecié la legitimidad y profundidad de nuestra experiencia juntas porque es reflejo de la naturaleza verdadera de lo que es ser mujer. Las mujeres nos damos el regalo de poder conectarnos a un nivel tan profundo, despojándonos de la carne y hablando de nuestra esencia pura sin temor a ser juzgadas, malinterpretadas o degradadas. Soy tan feliz de ser una mujer y de tener tantas mujeres maravillosas en mi vida a las que puedo llamar mis hermanas.

TODO EN SU JUSTO MOMENTO...

Es normal del ser humano ser impaciente. Siempre soñamos con lo próximo, con la próxima etapa en nuestras vidas, y la anticipación nos impacienta. En ocasiones quisiéramos llegar al futuro instantáneamente, como queriendo saltar una valla invisible que nos obstaculiza vivir nuestro futuro en tiempo presente. Los niños sueñan con ser “grandes”, y les promovemos la ansiedad y el deseo de crecer. Los adolescentes quieren ser adultos y no pueden esperar a experimentar las cosas que ven que los adultos hacen y les parecen atractivas e interesantes. Los adultos queremos alcanzar nuestras metas y sueños en un abrir y cerrar de ojos, muchas veces con mínimo esfuerzo.

Lo cierto es que todo en la vida lleva un orden divino, un orden en el cual la energía creadora se alinea para manifestar en nuestras vidas nuestra propia visualización y las cosas por las cuales trabajamos. He escuchado decir muchas veces que las cosas llegan a nuestra vida cuando tienen que llegar, ni un minuto más tarde ni un minuto más temprano. A algunos este dicho les parece una teoría conformista, una justificación para no hacer las cosas necesarias para fomentar cambios en la realidad actual. Sin embargo podemos tomar el ejemplo de la cosecha. Preparamos el terreno, sembramos la semilla, regamos el suelo y añadimos los nutrientes esenciales para asegurarnos de que cada semilla germinará fuerte, hacemos este proceso a diario, con perseverancia. Sin embargo, la semilla germinará, crecerá y dará fruto en su momento justo, en el momento predispuesto por orden natural. Poco podemos hacer para acelerar el proceso. Nada podemos hacer para controlar los demás elementos que tienen inherencia en el proceso, tales como el sol, la lluvia, las fases lunares y el viento, y solo podemos tomar nuestro conocimiento y sintonizarlo con los ciclos naturales para esperar la cosecha. Esto no significa dejar las cosas a la suerte. Significa que, si bien es cierto que podemos reclamar responsabilidad por una parte del proceso, no tenemos control de todos los elementos. Esto también significa que con cada proceso sabemos que la paciencia para esperar la manifestación de nuestro trabajo arduo es aliada.

El tiempo de espera para la materialización de lo que hemos trabajado es un buen momento para despojarnos de la impaciencia y absorber y aprender las lecciones del proceso. A veces durante los tiempos de quietud nuestra esencia se fortalece con el nuevo conocimiento adquirido, pero sólo cuando estamos en la disposición para hacerlo. Todo llega en su momento justo, ni un minuto más tarde ni un minuto más temprano. Hoy quiero abrir mi corazón para apreciar el camino, aprender del ya recorrido y no preocuparme por el que me falta. La vida es una jornada, no un destino. Hoy apreciaré cada paso que se ha fortalecido con los ya caminados. La siega llegará, producto de lo que ya trabajé y lo demás…

THE POWER OF WORDS

Believe it or not, words carry a lot of power when we speak. I have a say that I have shared before: “mean what you say and say what you mean”. Words are auditory manifestations of our thoughts, feelings, and emotions, coming from our brain, from our heart, and from our souls. Some say words are gone with the wind. In fact, our words mirror the deeper essence of who we are. Words carry energy, and we vest that energy onto the recipients of our words. Words said cannot be taken back, although the reality from which they were spoken can change with time. Words become solid when our brains process their meanings. Words stay with us long after they have been said, forever, truly, and a lot can stir from the human soul just by the sound of a word. The mouth speaks what is in the heart. Use words wisely.

ALLOWING FEELINGS

I have learned that, as humans, sometimes it is difficult to conciliate our feelings with the pre-conceived notions of what are the logical, ethical, and expected behaviors to follow when it comes to dealing with our feelings and emotions. Not always mind and heart are in tune, and even when they are, at times, synchronizing feelings with the minds and hearts of others is not always an easy thing to accomplish. Many individuals say they appreciate honesty but the truth of the matter is honesty is not always easy to handle. Allowing ourselves to feel takes courage...

As The Earth Allows The Rain

Sitting With Feelings

It can take great courage to really sit with our feelings, allowing ourselves to surrender to their powerful energies. All too often we set our feelings aside, thinking we will deal with them later. If we don’t deal with them, we end up storing them in our minds and bodies and this is when anxiety and other health issues can arise. Denying what our bodies want to feel can lead to trouble now or down the line, which is why being in the thick of our feelings, no matter how scary it seems, is really the best thing we can do for ourselves. One of the reasons we tend to hide or push aside our feelings is that we live in a culture that has not traditionally supported emotional awareness. However, as the connection between mind and body--our emotions and our physical health-- becomes clearer, awareness of the importance of feeling our feelings has grown. There are many books, classes, workshops and retreats that can help us on our way to emotional intelligence. We can also trust in our own ability to process what comes up when it comes up. If sadness arises, we can notice its presence and welcome it, noting where in our bodies we feel it, and allowing ourselves to express it through tears or a quiet turning inward. When we simply allow ourselves to fully feel our feelings as they come, we tend to let them go easily. This is all we are required to do; our feelings simply want to be felt. We often complicate the situation by applying mental energy in the form of analysis, when all we really need is to allow, as the earth allows the rain to fall upon it. As the rain falls, the earth responds in a multitude of ways, sometimes emptying out to form a great canyon, sometimes soaking it up to nourish an infinitude of plants. In the same way, the deeper purpose of our feelings is to transform the terrain of our inner world, sometimes creating space for more feelings to flow, sometimes providing sustenance for growth. All we need to do is allow the process by relaxing, opening, and receiving the bounty of our emotions.

The Daily OM

BEING NAKED / DESNUDEZ

Siempre la desnudez me ha parecido una forma natural y normal de experimentar y ser parte del mundo físico. Me encanta la ropa, la moda y el estilo, pero aprecio el regalo tan hermoso de nuestro cuerpo. Nuestras pieles son no sólo un órgano funcional en nuestros cuerpos, sino también nuestra prenda de vestir más única y especial.

Por alguna extraña razón se nos ha inculcado profundamente evitar y negar la desnudez como algo natural y sin malicia. Muchas personas no se detienen a mirar y admirar sus cuerpos sin que surja en sus mentes alguna crítica, muchas veces severa, acerca de cuánto o no sus cuerpos se asemejan a la imagen “enlatada” de lo que se nos ha vendido como un cuerpo perfecto. Por esta razón muchos evitan los espejos, pero tampoco se permiten disfrutar de la libertad de interactuar con sus micro-mundos sin que la ropa esté de por medio.

Habiendo sido criada en una cultura un tanto opresiva con respecto a la sexualidad y el cuerpo humano, siempre me pregunté por qué se castigaba la desnudez y la sexualidad. Aún en la intimidad de un momento privado se me inculcaba a tapar el cuerpo inmediatamente al terminar un baño como si alguna divinidad hubiese estado observando y hubiese podido aplicar un castigo implacable por tan horrendo pecado. ¿En qué momento de nuestra historia como humanidad el cuerpo se convirtió en algo de lo que debemos avergonzarnos? ¿Acaso no es el cuerpo nuestro templo sagrado?

Me encanta la ropa, la moda y el estilo, y estoy totalmente a favor de la ropa. Sin embargo, amo mi cuerpo y el cuerpo humano, y valoro y honro las pieles, curvas, pliegues, celulitis, estrías, flaccidez, rollitos, abundancias, carencias y lo que hace de cada cuerpo algo único y maravilloso. Un buen ejercicio para comenzar a aceptarnos tal cual somos es empezar a aceptar nuestros cuerpos y a sentirnos cómodos con él. A destaparse de vez en cuando, a dormir desnudos (con la ropa al lado por si acaso hay que correr en medio de la noche), a dejar que el agua se nos evapore sola de nuestra piel al salir de la ducha, a caminar desnudos por la casa y a disfrutar de nuestros cuerpos ¡“como Dios nos trajo al mundo”!

As The Day You Were Born

Being Naked

The Daily OM

For most of us, it is probably difficult to remember the last time we were comfortably naked for a period of time longer than 20 minutes or so. Many of us are only naked for the length of time it takes us to shower or bathe. We quickly dry off and put our clothes or pajamas on, without taking even a moment to enjoy the feeling of the air against our bare skin. Most of us learned that this was the way to do things from a young age, and we may not have been exposed to another way of thinking, but many cultures regard nudity as completely acceptable, even in somewhat public settings. If you have ever had the good fortune to assimilate yourself to this way of doing things, you may have found the experience liberating enough to allow it to influence the rest of your life. Perhaps you swam topless in Tahiti or took a sauna in Sweden or Finland. In many American cities, you can find the experience of unselfconscious nudity in a Russian or Korean spa. You may have noticed the lack of vanity in people who are comfortable with their naked bodies. Old ladies and young girls sit side by side, seemingly without concern for how they appear. We see that it is not necessary to hide our imperfections; from cellulite to wrinkles, all is accepted with equilibrium. We can see the beauty and naturalness of our different bodies, accepting ourselves as just right, just as we are. Being naked in front of children can be discussed with your spouse and a plan developed for your family. Children have their way of letting you know when they are ready for a clothes-only family.If this sounds appealing, you might try carving out some time in your day in which you let yourself be naked. You could delay dressing for 10 minutes after your shower, gradually increasing the time to 20 minutes or half an hour. You might also want to try sleeping naked, a sensual delight that is especially wonderful in hot summer months. If you have a private garden, a naked sunbath might be just the thing. Whatever your choice, finding time to be as naked as the day you were born can awaken feelings of contentment, freedom, and self-love.

ACCEPTING ONESELF

"Aceptarse a uno mismo es el primer paso para amarse a uno mismo. Amarse a uno mismo es tener la confianza de ser, a pesar de todo". Thinking about self confidence and wondering why some people have the bravery to seemingly do more than others, I came to the realization that in essence, self-confidence is grounded on self-acceptance. In order to reach self-acceptance, to love oneself as we are, though to strive to become our best selves not for others but for our own sake, we have to deeply and unequivocally know our selves to the core, our strengths, weaknesses, virtues, past, present, and future, and then with that understanding in hand come to terms with our demons, conquer our fears, and retrieve from within the determination to stand in the world as we are, stripped of the expectations of others and learn to live happily, freely, and intuitively with the person we are. Then, and only then, true self confidence can be achieved.

It is hard to be different, but harder it is to be willing to stay rooted in our grounds and offer ourselves to the world as we are, in our own definition, in harmony with others, but most importantly, with all the parts that compose our whole selves in harmony within. I remember growing up I experienced being different from many angles, and although the temptation to be “same as” was big and an easier load to carry, I always drifted in the direction of what was more suitable for myself. I have been called inconsiderate, cold, and libertine (among other things), although my actions procured the well-being of others, just because I had the guts to stand up, refuse, change, voice-out, and choose to be my own person. It is ironic that all ethics call for humans to be honest, yet honesty is not highly appreciated, nor much tolerated or accepted by others, especially by those one has sentimental ties to. Individuals are called to be honest, sincere, transparent, yet the open expression of differences in thought, feelings, and perspectives is often treated as actions of betrayal, defiance, and desertion.

Self-acceptance requires for individuals to be comfortable in their own skin and to feel the confidence to let that skin show for all to see. One can transpire self-acceptance with respect, compassion, and understanding of others unacceptance, willing to stay open-minded to the learning experience that differences among individuals allows, evolving to strengthen our core through our learning, realizing that differences are healthy and necessary to be unique, and recognizing that differences emerge from the same source and core values ingrained in all humans. To accept one-self is the first step to loving one-self. To love one-self is to have the confidence to be, in spite of all.

THE POWER OF WOMEN

Women have the innate ability to form tight bonds with other women, unlike any other creature on earth. When we care for other women we are willing to go out of our ways to support, aid, and comfort other women. Friendships are deep and meaningful for women, and we have the sensitivity to connect beyond what is explicable. When women love and care for other women our feelings transcend time and distance, our intuition for each other tunes in finely and intertwines with the essence of others, forming a true sisterhood. I call the way women care for each other and the relationships we develop with other women “the tribe”.

Tribal in nature, we develop an effective system to provide nurturing in a special way only women are able to. It is important for women to stand united and recognize that the power of all, amalgamated, is the power of one. Lets use our sisterhood to strengthen our tribe and create the harmony much needed in the world.

Women’s Support

Becoming Our Own Role Models

As women embrace the fullness of who they are as individuals, they may find themselves supporting other women, helping others to reach the level of inner comfort and outer freedom that they themselves have found. Among those who are less sure of themselves and their place in the world, it may be more common to criticize other women than to seek their help. But there are things that a woman can only learn from another woman, as there are things about being a man that can only be learned from other men. We all recognize that we have much to learn from each other regardless of gender, but sometimes we could use a supportive role model that gives us a more precise example of what and who we can become. There was a time where women stood together in a bond of sisterhood, women supporting women. It is only natural that the pendulum swings out of balance for a while so that we may have the experience of what we do not want. It is up to women to bring the pendulum back into balance and bring back the sacred sisterhood we yearn for at our core. If we envision a world where women support each other and help each other find their place in an ever-changing world, then we can become the change we want to see. Jealousy, envy, criticism, and judgment are refuges for the insecure. As we help others to become self-assured, we create a world in which all people help each other, regardless of gender. Only women can make the change in how women are seen and understood, not just by other women but by the world at large. The way we speak about each other to other women and to the men in our lives informs everyone to treat us with the respect that all women, and all people, deserve.

WOMEN AND GOODBYES

Gracias a mi amiga Jody por enviarme este mensaje...gracioso y muy cierto.

"A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it." Helen Rowland

And if you are a Latina, you say 100 goodbyes before actually leaving...two hours after the first goodbye :-)

CONFORMISMO Y MEDIOCRIDAD

“…todos los triunfadores comparten algo en común: Ellos no tienen excusas. No buscan justificar ante los demás por qué las cosas son como son. NO se quejan de sus circunstancias ni inventan excusas para explicar por qué no han alcanzado sus metas. Las personas exitosas simplemente entran en acción y se encargan de hacer lo necesario para que las cosas ocurran. Si tropiezan, se ponen de pie nuevamente y emprenden con renovado entusiasmo su camino hacia los objetivos que persiguen”. Dr. Camilo Cruz
Muchas personas caminan por el mundo, aparentando a simple vista estar desprovistos de ataduras o impedimentos físicos, pero con una prisión invisible a su alrededor y cadenas indelebles que los atan a su realidad por más negativa o poco placentera que ésta sea. El conformismo justifica su inconforme realidad y sufren de lo que yo defino como La Parálisis del Miedo. El conformismo se da por muchas razones, y surge del “entendimiento” de que ante el gran temor al cambio (la parálisis) lo más conveniente es adaptarse y moldearse (conformarse) a la infelicidad. Es irónico que un ser humano pueda y quiera perpetuar los ciclos de insatisfacción, infelicidad, dolor y amargura de su vida en vez de emplear su energía para motivar un cambio. Muchas personas piensan que la vida es dura, difícil, ardua y que sólo algunos, muy pocos, disfrutan de una vida fácil y de alto logro personal, profesional, espiritual y financiero. El conformismo como sistema de defensa permite que las personas vivan en “piloto automático” pero sin atreverse a tomar riesgos mayores para alcanzar y vivir la vida que quieren. Todos tenemos la fuerza y el aplomo para enfrentarnos a la adversidad, realizar cambios, tomar las riendas de nuestra vida y vencer la mediocridad, el miedo y el conformismo. El valor no es algo con el cual solo unos pocos nacieron. El valor es utilizado por aquellos que se dan cuenta de que lo tienen a su disposición para vivir una vida plena y realizada.

LO DIJO UN GENIO...

“No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it. We must learn to see the world anew.” Albert Einstein

En muchas ocasiones me han dicho personas que se sienten agobiadas por problemas que parecen no tener solución. A pesar de que la solución puede ser obvia para un observador, ciertamente el estar inmerso en la energía que acompaña un problema actúa como una cámara que limita la visión para resolverlo. Muchas veces es pertinente retirarnos de la situación para verla de otro ángulo, y de esta forma la solución se muestra evidente. Muchas veces necesitamos una pausa en retirada para disipar la bruma de nuestra mente y regresar viendo claro.

REFLECTING ON THE PAST

You may find yourself meditating on your history, thoughtfully reflecting upon your past. In this philosophical frame of mind, you may be able to discern patterns and gain a greater understanding about your path to this point. We do the best we can at any given moment, so looking back need not invite blame and regret. If we find that such feelings come up, we can apply loving forgiveness to ourselves and to any who we feel have hurt us. They were doing the best they could with the information they had. We can look instead with gratitude at the way our lives have unfolded and learn how to make the journey more consciously from this point forward. By reflecting on your history today, you gain insight into the patterns of your life.

It may be useful throughout this process to continuously ask ourselves how we created each situation in our lives. On an energetic level, we are responsible for everything we bring into our experience. With this in mind, we may be able to change our concept of certain life-changing events from negative to positive. Perhaps something that seemed to randomly happen to us was a result of our longing for an opportunity for growth or a chance to prove our strength to ourselves. It may have been subconscious or from our higher spiritual level, but if we can take responsibility for these occurences, we can release any negative hold they may have on us. Looking back today helps you create more consciously for your future.