WOMAN ON HOLD

Motherhood is one of the leading forces on earth. There is no such energy and passion as the courage, devotion, and love of mothers to their offspring. Mother Nature is wise in teaching us that lesson. A feline mother is fearless when it comes to defending her kittens. Even the smallest bird exerts a courage inconmensurate with her size when it comes to facing her most fearsome opponents in order to protect her baby birds. Human mothers (most of them) experience a new level of conciousness when they bear life and bring new life into this world. There is no stronger sense of wholeness and merge with the universe and the power that is greatest than ourselves than when we become mothers. Enlightment happens. Happiness strikes. A new life begins, for both mother and child.

While all those pleasant feelings are being experienced during motherhood, the demands of our children on us are strong. Often times, we give up our bodies to bring them into this world. We nurture them, often times with our own bodies. They depend entirely on us for their survival, learning, amusement, and socialization. We are the centers of their universe and it is easy to get absorbed deeply into giving our whole selves to our children. The task of being a mother is not an easy one. No one works more hours, lives more sleep deprived, and is demanded so much attention than mothers. After a while of performing our motherly duties with complete devotion we cannot help to question whether the women we used to be still lives.

I call mothers “women on hold”. For a period of time (sometimes longer, sometimes shorter) our existence is focused entirely on our role as mothers. It is the natural thing to do, but also, different cultures teach, enforce, and demand the role of mothers to be an exclusive venture. For those who have a strong drive to be more than a mother, dilema strikes as the demands of motherhood seem to consume our cores.

There are a lot of strategies a woman can implement to feel like her humanity, separate from that one of child, is emerging, at least every once in a while. A lot has been written about that, and my intention with this writing is not to outline a plan. My message is to tell women they do not have to feel they have given up on themselves for the sake of motherhood. There will never be a more gratifying job in the world than being a mother. Sometimes, we just put ourselves on hold for a while to bring up those children that have been entrusted to us. If your womanhood is on hold, let her peek out regularly to see the light. She will wait but she also needs to be nourished, just like your offspring. She needs attention, pampering, to be listened to, attended to, cared for. She will wait for you to be ready to reclaim her. Comfort her and tell her she will not be on hold forever, just for a little while while you enjoy motherhood. And invite her, your woman on hold, to enjoy motherhood with you. She will treat you good when it is her turn to return the favor.