It is my belief that great deal of how we deal with life situations comes from the way we are raised and all the influences around us in our upbringing. Each individual is a melting pot of a lot of input from all fronts: parents, extended family, friends, guides, teachers, and even strangers through the media and what we read. It is true that feelings are real and, as humans, we have many and complex feelings about all that goes on around us. However, how we decide to react toward our feelings and how we externalize our emotions is or should be our very own decision.
Many people say I cannot control myself when this happens, or I would like to react differently but I can’t. Well, the truth is we can. Some life experiences are not pleasant to live. Humans have a natural tendency to get frustrated when things do not go as planned or as anticipated. Humans who do not feel uneasy when uncertainty strikes are rare, and maybe inexistent. However, some humans act defeated in the face of rejection. Others use their less than pleasant feelings to fuel their drive to act constructively to change their current status for the better. We can learn how to channel the energy from those uncomfortable feelings or situations. We can choose how to act as a next step after experiencing a sore moment. When pain strikes, we can choose to fight or to learn. When uncertainty arrives we can choose to give in to our fear or to see it as an opportunity to embark on a journey of discovery. We can choose to feel defeated or to see “failure” as an opportunity to look for a different way to achieve the desired results. When an unpleasant situation crosses our path, we can choose to sulk and be consumed with negativity or we can rise strengthened and willing to start again.
Happiness is a choice; that’s what I always tell my little boy. Happiness does not happen to a person by miracle. Happiness is a mental, spiritual, and emotional state of perpetually being aware of our greatness and reaffirming it in spite of the challenges of life. Life is not hard. Life is what we make it. I am not implying that we don’t experience negativity in our lives. The important thing is to use those feelings as signals to look into ourselves and become even greater.
Recently, I found this article in the local newspaper and I have to share it. I totally agree!
“Most individuals have the belief that other people, or events, make them either happy or miserable. This simply paints them into an untenable position with no way out. However, I am convinced this phenomenon is the basic premise on which most people base their emotional state. They are happy if things don’t go according to form.
We choose to live our lives outside-in or inside-out. The basic problem with living outside-in is that we have very little control over other people, their choices, or life’s events. If we live inside-out, we at least have some control over how we respond to the same. The final freedom available to humans is to choose our response to whatever may happen to us…I don’t think it makes much sense to give another person all the credit, or all the blame, for whatever our emotional state may be.”
Dough Smith, Licensed Professional Counselor and Columnist for Star Community Newspapers.
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