ACCEPTING ONESELF

"Aceptarse a uno mismo es el primer paso para amarse a uno mismo. Amarse a uno mismo es tener la confianza de ser, a pesar de todo". Thinking about self confidence and wondering why some people have the bravery to seemingly do more than others, I came to the realization that in essence, self-confidence is grounded on self-acceptance. In order to reach self-acceptance, to love oneself as we are, though to strive to become our best selves not for others but for our own sake, we have to deeply and unequivocally know our selves to the core, our strengths, weaknesses, virtues, past, present, and future, and then with that understanding in hand come to terms with our demons, conquer our fears, and retrieve from within the determination to stand in the world as we are, stripped of the expectations of others and learn to live happily, freely, and intuitively with the person we are. Then, and only then, true self confidence can be achieved.

It is hard to be different, but harder it is to be willing to stay rooted in our grounds and offer ourselves to the world as we are, in our own definition, in harmony with others, but most importantly, with all the parts that compose our whole selves in harmony within. I remember growing up I experienced being different from many angles, and although the temptation to be “same as” was big and an easier load to carry, I always drifted in the direction of what was more suitable for myself. I have been called inconsiderate, cold, and libertine (among other things), although my actions procured the well-being of others, just because I had the guts to stand up, refuse, change, voice-out, and choose to be my own person. It is ironic that all ethics call for humans to be honest, yet honesty is not highly appreciated, nor much tolerated or accepted by others, especially by those one has sentimental ties to. Individuals are called to be honest, sincere, transparent, yet the open expression of differences in thought, feelings, and perspectives is often treated as actions of betrayal, defiance, and desertion.

Self-acceptance requires for individuals to be comfortable in their own skin and to feel the confidence to let that skin show for all to see. One can transpire self-acceptance with respect, compassion, and understanding of others unacceptance, willing to stay open-minded to the learning experience that differences among individuals allows, evolving to strengthen our core through our learning, realizing that differences are healthy and necessary to be unique, and recognizing that differences emerge from the same source and core values ingrained in all humans. To accept one-self is the first step to loving one-self. To love one-self is to have the confidence to be, in spite of all.