MOVING ON

How long does it take for an individual to trespass his/her own limitations? How long can we hold on to old pains, heartaches, fears, frustrations, denials, and unhappiness? The truth is there is no formula for determining how long a human being can live with unpleasant feelings. It is all about personal preference. It is all about decision.

Our lives are based on an unlimited number of decisions we must make every second of our existence. For example, we get up at a certain time everyday. Some can argue most must get up at a certain time to comply with work obligations; however, the truth is every morning there is an element of decision involved in getting up at a certain time. We might feel we must get up to go to work, but in fact, we have the choice to get up and go to work. In most cases we are aware of the consequences of our decisions. For instance, not getting up in time to get to work at a certain hour might cause us a sanction. Of course, there are events in life we cannot predict that might force us to make choices we otherwise would not. For example, we get up in time to go to work, but we are faced with an accident on the road that makes us be late for work. The truth is we have no way of having been able to predict the accident on the road. We can only decide how to react to those unexpected events in life. As not everything in life is predictable or within our control, we can make a conscious decision about how to deal with, cope with, or face the uncontrollable. We can make decisions when faced with those life-changing events that come our way without warning. We can decide to stay optimistic, learn from our experiences, and move on quickly. We can decide to let life continue with our best face and attitude. Attitude is a decision. Happiness is a decision. The timing to cross the threshold between self pity and the determination to move forward is a decision for us to make.

I understand I have less time on earth than before. Everyday, every hour, every minute, every second of my existence is subtracted from the sum of all the time I do not know I have left to live. Therefore, I am making a decision to live happier and letting go of grudges in less time than before. With practice, I might never hold on to resentment and fear again, or at least, minimize their time within me. It will take practice and my decision to live happily, in spite of it all. I can be certain of one thing: at least I will be happier, longer.

NEW BEGINNINGS

Our human nature prompts us to resist changes. Changes are the only constant we have in our lives, however, change is what we dread and fear most. Habits, behaviors, routines are all part of our daily systems and ways of living that become our second nature. We all need predictability in our lives. We all need systems under which we operate on a daily basis. However, we often do not realize that even when we always do the same things we can never do those things the same way. We are not the same today as we were yesterday. Our life circumstances may change slightly or drastically from one day to the next. Everyday we are different creatures, older, wiser, more experienced, more seasoned. Everyday our skin, hair, and brain change. Everyday we are a new person. Why, then, do we resist the less than obvious changes of life?






Life submerges us in a comfort zone. We get used to the familiarity of situations and we become accustomed to doing certain things. We create expectations in anticipation of results that derive from doing things a certain way each time. Life becomes predictable. When something challenges that predictability, an alarm goes off inside of us. Discomfort starts building up and all sorts of fears start arising. This happens even in uncomfortable situations in which we have become used to discomfort. The discomfort is known. Change is unknown, and therefore, a threat. When threatened, we tend to fight or to hide as a signal of resistance. Little matters if the change will unfold a better reality. Our human nature resists the new with passion.






Living through change is hard, especially those changes that have a great impact in our whole life system. Some changes call us to redefine our value system, our life system, our humanity. Those are the most difficult to endure, but also the most transforming. We change everyday but dramatic changes often times allow us to evolve if we keep an open mind and let our spirit transpire through.






I have been experiencing a lot of life changes these days. One day I was feeling particularly challenged by the unknown, I ran into a neighbor. As I shared my story with her, she told me she went through a similar situation and that life was good. “You will be good”, she assured me. I found comfort and hope in her words. Life has changed. And life is good, as she promised.






Change happens; is inevitable. Resisting it only makes us feel hopeless and with little control over the outcome. When we seize the opportunities that come with change, we are in a better position to make decisions that will have a significant impact on our evolution through and after change.

Gracias...pero solo hago lo que hay que hacer!

http://www.telemundodallas.com/video/21427919/

FORGIVENESS AND LETTING GO

My aunt Constance emailed me this morning. How pertinent! Hatred is a venom that we ingest, hoping and expecting it will harm someone else. The words "I will never forgive" mean "I will allow this event to eat me alive for the rest of my life".

“Forgive whatever grievances you may have.” Col 3:13 NIV

Forgive them, and let it go

We talk about grudges the way we talk about babies. You can hold a grudge, carry a grudge, bear a grudge, or nurse a grudge. The trouble is, when you nurse something you feed it, make it grow, and pretty soon it’s full grown. Are you carrying a grudge? Why? It doesn’t make sense. Why would you pick up something each day that weighs you down and carry it around with you? “But they hurt me.” Yes, but by carrying a grudge you enable them to keep hurting you. Don’t do that to yourself!

We know we’re supposed to forgive other people, but sometimes forgiving feels like we are giving up something. One of Lincoln’s stories was about a man on his sickbed who had been told by the doctor that he didn’t have much time to live. He summoned an old friend named Brown with whom he’d quarreled bitterly. They hadn’t spoken for years. The man talked of how he was going to die soon, of how their petty differences looked in the face of death, and asked if they might be reconciled. The scene moved everyone in the room to tears. Brown clasped the dying man’s hands, embraced him, and turned to walk out of the room, a shattered man. Suddenly the man on the sickbed, having one final thought, raised himself up on one elbow and spoke for the last time: “But see here, Brown; if I recover, the old grudge still stands.” This story makes us smile and think, “How foolish!” But if you are carrying a grudge, are you any different?

REDIRECTING THE EMOTION / REDIRIGIENDO LA EMOCIÓN

Las emociones y sentimientos están ítimamente relacionadas. Los sentimientos están dentro de nosotros y emanan, muchas veces, de las situaciones que nos circundan. Las emociones son los sentimientos expresados; es decir, son la forma visible de los sentimientos al actuar en base a éstos. Muchas veces, nuestros sentimientos producen emociones no muy gratas, para nosotros o para los que están a nuestro alrededor. Idealmente, encontramos una manera eficaz y constructiva de canalizar nuestras emociones para que representen nuestros sentimientos sin minimizar lo que somos y sin destruir o intentar herir a otros en el proceso. Controlar nuestras emociones requiere de mucho valor, determinación y aprendizaje, especialmente las emociones fuertes como el coraje y la frustración. Al final, ganamos más cuando nuestras emociones se mantienen en alto nivel y nos conducen a estar en paz con nosotros mismos. Es más fácil decirlo que hacerlo, sin embargo es cuestión de decisión y de práctica.

Redirecting the Eruption

Lashing Out

Intense emotions demand intense modes of expression. While there are many outlets for the feelings typically deemed positive, however, there are far fewer methods for constructively coping with anger, frustration, fear, sadness, or stress. Consequently, such feelings can cause us to believe that we are no longer in control of our emotional state. Backed into a mental corner, we may lash out at the first individual we encounter. Most of us will quickly discover that our misdirected outpouring of fury has not relieved the pressure of our pain. Powerful emotions are like the lava in a volcano poised to erupt—held in check with nothing but an eroding layer of calm. Within us lies the power to direct the flood of feeling that surges forth by channeling it into productive, artistic, or laborious pursuits.

Retaking control of our emotions at their height can be difficult because our already negative feelings can convince us that others are deserving of our wrath. But if we consciously look for healthier ways of expressing what we feel, we can both safely dispel our pain and use the energy of that pain to add value to our lives. Anger and sadness, for example, can become the inspiration that induces us to dedicate ourselves to bringing about the change we wish to see in the world. If we act rather than react, we can become effective agents of positive transformation. When we channel our frustration or feelings of stress into outside-the-box thinking and proactive exploits, we are more apt to discover solutions to the issues that initially left us stymied. And if we view fear as a signal that we need to reexamine our circumstances rather than a cue to flee, we may gain new and unexpected insight into our lives.

Channeling your emotions into constructive action can also prevent you from engaging in cyclical rumination in which you repeatedly relive the situation, event, or expectation that originally sparked your feelings in your mind’s eye. Since you are focused on a goal, even if your ambition is merely to better understand yourself, your pain is no longer being fed by your intellectual and emotional energy and quickly ebbs away. You not only avoid lashing out at others, but you also actively take part in your own healing process while honestly acknowledging and honoring your feelings.

The Daily OM

LATINAS FACE MORE BARRIERS TO EDUCATION

New Report Highlights Latina Students Face Greater Challenges Than Counterparts

MALDEF and National Women’s Law Center Uncover Series of Unique Challenges Latina Students Face, Offer Strategies to Maximize Success

Listening to Latinas: Barriers to High School Graduation

The National Women’s Law Center (NWLC) and MALDEF were joined by U.S. Representative Raul Grijalva (D-AZ), Chair of the Education Task Force for the Congressional Hispanic Caucus, in releasing "Listening to Latinas: Barriers to High School Graduation", a new report that takes a close look at the drop-out crisis in the Latino community. The latest data show that 41% of Latina students do not graduate on time with a standard high school diploma. The study reports that while 98% of high school seniors want to graduate from high school, and 80% aspire to higher education, Latina students continue to face numerous challenges in reaching these goals.Report available athttp://maldef.org/education/public_policy/listening_to_latinas/

The study reveals that as Latinos work to provide for their families, education too often takes a back seat to survival. Often times Latina students must take on parental duties to either younger siblings, or, in a community with the highest teen pregnancy rate, their own children. Cultural stigmas contribute to low self-esteem and insecurities, allowing society to ignore Latina students who then trade-in the possibility of a future career, for a future predestined by bias, discrimination, and a lack of support.

Beginning by acknowledging that a problem exists, and recognizing the importance of investing in our children, the study offers some solid recommendations. The recommendations include calling on schools, policymakers, and government agencies to: invest in the future of Latino children through high-quality early learning programs, connect Latinas with role models, ensure that all students are prepared for post-secondary educational opportunities, ensure safe school environments that are culturally inclusive and free from discrimination, help Latino parents get involved in their children’s education, improve efforts to prevent teen pregnancy and provide support for pregnant and parenting students, and require better data collection and promote school accountability.By empowering Latina students, we are empowering America. For more information on this critically important report, visit MALDEF.org.MALDEF would also like to thank The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation for underwriting the study.

(As posted in Las Comadres Para Las Américas)

FEAR

Fear of Losing What We Have

Seeing Beyond Fearful Delusions

One of humanity’s biggest fears is losing what we have. It is healthy when fear of loss helps us take steps to protect what we have worked hard to attain, but it is unhealthy to continue to fear something we can do nothing about. We need to remember that focusing our energy on fear can actually create what scares us, and holding tightly to what we have keeps us from participating in the universal flow of abundance and instead creates stagnation. Since we can only really control our thoughts and our responses, gaining proper perspective may be key to conquering such fears.

The letters of the word "fear" can be used to stand for "False Evidence Appearing Real." Fears of being separated from something or someone we feel we need for our security or happiness comes from a delusion—a distorted way of understanding ourselves and the world around us. When we understand that possessions are only representations of the energy at work in our lives, we can shift our attention to the right and proper place. We can stop fearing loss of money or success because when we understand how it is created, we can always create more. We can stop fearing loss of possessions when we realize that they are not the source of our joy or well-being but only icing on our cakes. And when we understand the energy of love, we need not hold anyone too close for fear of losing them for we know that love does not diminish when it is given or shared but expands beyond boundaries of time or space.

By focusing our light on our fears, they are revealed as mere shadows that disappear in the presence of mind and spirit. We can choose instead to direct our thoughts and creative power toward things of true value—love, abundance, peace, passion, and joy. These are energies that are always available to us when we place ourselves confidently in the universal flow of abundance.

The Daily OM

ADIOS MARIO BENEDETTI

Rindo humilde homenaje al gran poeta Mario Benedetti. Que en paz descanse. Lo recuerdo con varios de sus poemas...

Currículum

El cuento es muy sencillo,
usted nace,
contempla atribulado
el rojo azul del cielo,
el pájaro que emigra,
el torpe escarabajo
que su zapato aplastará
valiente.
Usted sufre,
reclama por comida
y por costumbre,
por obligación,
llora limpio de culpas,
extenuado,
hasta que el sueño lo descalifica.

Usted ama,
se transfigura y ama
por una eternidad tan provisoria
que hasta el orgullo se le vuelve tierno
y el corazón profético,
se convierte en escombros.

Usted aprende
y usa lo aprendido,
para volverse lentamente sabio,
para saber que al fin el mundo es ésto,
en su mejor momento una nostalgia,
en su peor momento un desamparo,
y siempre, siempre
un lío,
entonces,
usted muere.


Una mujer desnuda y en lo oscuro

Una mujer desnuda y en lo oscuro
tiene una claridad que nos alumbra
de modo que si ocurre un desconsuelo
un apagón o una noche sin luna
es conveniente y hasta imprescindible
tener a mano una mujer desnuda.

Una mujer desnuda y en lo oscuro
genera un resplandor que da confianza
entonces dominguea el almanaque
vibran en su rincón las telarañas
y los ojos felices y felinos
miran y de mirar nunca se cansan.

Una mujer desnuda y en lo oscuro
es una vocación para las manos
para los labios es casi un destino
y para el corazón un despilfarro
una mujer desnuda es un enigma
y siempre es una fiesta descifrarlo.

Una mujer desnuda y en lo oscuro
genera una luz propia y nos enciende
el cielo raso se convierte en cielo
y es una gloria no ser inocente
una mujer querida o vislumbrada
desbarata por una vez la muerte.

SUCCESS TAKES 1000 STEPS

Wisdom is in many things and appears in many ways, sometimes as words from unsuspected individuals. Wisdom is not a treasure held only by ancient philosophers or holly people. All living things hold the truth or fractions of it, even when we do not see it.

The greatest minds that have walked the earth, the most brilliant inventors, the people who have made headlines because of their contributions to the arts, science, math, sports, social activism, and politics know very well the relativity of failure versus success and wisdom has emerged strong and clear of every experience that led to the fruition of their pursuits. Wisdom is within all, many would say; we are born with it, many would affirm. The truth is wisdom is not realized and transpired until it makes sense through all life experiences, whether we think we have it or not. Trial and “error” is the way to wisdom. “Error” is just the steps to discover the path to epiphany.

Life is an experience full of experiments. Sometimes it takes 1000 trials to come up with a successful result, and at that moment wisdom will emerge as the light on a new day.

“If you don’t like the road you are walking on, start paving another one”. Dolly Parton

“Failure and its inseparable partner success, are the proverbial two sides of the day-and-night like coin. Can't have one without the other. Take away failure, no success either. And which one dominates at any given point in time does so simply because you say so”.
- John Milton Fogg

"Never think of the consequences of failing, you will always think of a negative results. Think only positive thoughts and your mind will gravitate towards those thoughts!" -- Michael Jordan


Thomas Edison's teachers said he was "too stupid to learn anything." He was fired from his first two jobs for being "non-productive." As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked, "How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?" Edison replied, "I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps."


"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall."~ Confucius

MACHOS Y HOMBRES

Encontré este pensamiento, inspiración del fallecido actor puertorriqueño Miguelángel Suárez. Palabras muy sabias de parte de un hombre que dedicó su vida a exhaltar los valores que cargaba en su corazón.

"(Exhorto a todos a) que se quieran a sí mismos, que se amen, que recuerden que los machos nos dan mal nombre a los hombres, que respeten a la mujer, a la dignidad y a las hembras. Vamos a cuidarnos, uno al otro, porque no somos un montón de gente en un trozo de tierra, somos una nación”.

Que en paz descanse.

LAS ARGENTINAS SON LAS MENOS DISCRIMINADAS DEL CONTINENTE

LAS ARGENTINAS SON LAS MENOS DISCRIMINADAS DEL CONTINENTE
Fuente: Mujeres News nº 21

En un ránking que mide la igualdad en el acceso y las oportunidades en trabajo, salud, educación y cargos políticos, Argentina figura en el puesto 24 sobre 130 países. Esto la deja primera en América. Un índice del Foro Económico Mundial (FEM) que clasifica la igualdad de género en 130 países del mundo ubica a la Argentina en la posición 24, nueve lugares por encima que el año pasado y primera en el continente americano. En el primer informe, que se hizo en el año 2006, el país estaba en el puesto 41.Cuba, Estados Unidos, Bélgica, Austria y Canadá son algunos de los países que aparecen por debajo de Argentina en este "Informe Global de Disparidad entre Géneros 2008 (*)". Arriba, los países nórdicos: Noruega en primer lugar, Finlandia en el segundo, Suecia en el tercero, Islandia en el cuarto. La cola es ocupada por los países musulmanes, en concreto, Yemen ocupa el puesto 130; Arabia Saudí, el 128; Pakistán, el 127; Marruecos, el 125; Egipto, el 124, y Turquía, el 123.

VACAS FLACAS Y VACAS GORDAS/HARD LEARNED LESSONS

"Dos años después, Faraón tuvo este sueño: Estaba en la orilla del Nilo cuando vio que salían del río siete vacas hermosas y muy gordas, que se pusieron a pastar entre los juncos. Detrás de ellas salieron otras siete vacas feas y flacas junto a la orilla del Nilo. Y estas vacas feas y flacas se comieron a las siete vacas gordas y hermosas. Faraón despertó, y al dormirse nuevamente tuvo otro sueño: soñó que siete espigas granadas y buenas salían de un mismo tallo, pero que después de éstas brotaban otras siete delgadas y quemadas por el viento que se tragaban a las siete granadas y repletas. Despertó Faraón y se dio cuenta que era un sueño.

Faraón refirió sueño a José. José respondió a Faraón: Tu sueño, Señor, es uno solo. Dios te ha anunciado lo que El va a hacer. Las siete vacas hermosas, al igual que las siete espigas granadas, son siete años de abundancia. Las siete vacas feas y raquíticas, que salieron detrás, al igual que las siete espigas vanas y quemadas por el viento del este, son siete años de hambre. Esto es lo que puedo decirle a Faraón y que Dios ha querido mostrarle". Génesis 41.

Esta parábola me hace mucho sentido en estos días. Desde que la leí cuando era niña caló hondo en mí, y en tiempos de adversidad en mi vida acudo a la alegoría de las vacas flacas y gordas para mantenerme optimista. De la misma forma en que las vacas flacas sucedieron a las gordas, las gordas sucederán a las flacas.

Durante los tiempos de “energía baja” como los llamo, parece ser que las cosas tan llamadas “negativas” se agolpan y tal cual procesión de pueblo, desfilan por nuestra vida una tras la otra. Algunas veces, la procesión es corta. Otras, la procesión es larga y agónica. Yo he estado viviendo una época de vacas flacas (que espero no dure siete años), y miro con entusiasmo y mucha anticipación la llegada de las vacas gordas y las espigas granadas.

Mucho podemos aprender durante la época de las vacas flacas, sin embargo, yo siempre he podido apreciar mejor esas lecciones cuando llegan tiempos mejores y se alejan las marejadas y tormentas de mi vida. Ciertamente, aprendo mucho acerca de mi propia humanidad durante la adversidad. Tal y como después de la lluvia, aprecio más y mejor al sol y puedo ver el arcoiris que se manifiesta brillante al final de la lluvia y que augura cielos nítidos y despejados.

Si hay vacas flacas, detrás vienen las gordas. ¡Que así sea!

Hard Learned Lessons

Bad Days

We all have days from time to time when it feels like the world is against us or that the chaos we are experiencing will never end. One negative circumstance seems to lead to another. You may wonder, on a bad day, whether anything in your life will ever go right again. But a bad day, like any other day, can be a gift. Having a bad day can show you that it is time to slow down, change course, or lighten up. A bad day can help you glean wisdom you might otherwise have overlooked or discounted. Bad days can certainly cause you to experience uncomfortable feelings you would prefer to avoid, yet a bad day may also give you a potent means to learn about yourself.

You may consider a bad day to be one where you’ve missing an important meeting because your car stalled, the dryer broke, and you received a piece of very bad news earlier in the morning. Multiple misfortunes that take place one after the other can leave us feeling vulnerable and intensely cognizant of our fragility. But bad days can only have a long-term negative effect on us if we let them. It is better to ask yourself what you can learn from these kinds of days. The state of your bad day may be an indicator that you need to stay in and hibernate or let go of your growing negativity.

Bad days contribute to the people we become. Though we may feel discouraged and distressed on our bad days, a bad day can teach us patience and perseverance. It is important to remember that your attitude drives your destiny and that one negative experience does not have to be the beginning of an ongoing stroke of bad luck. A bad day is memorable because it is one day among many good days – otherwise, we wouldn’t even bother to acknowledge it as a bad day. Know too, that everybody has bad days, you are not alone, the world is not against you. Tomorrow is guaranteed to be a brighter day.

The Daily OM

LIBRE ALBEDRIO

El concepto de libre albedrío es un término abarcador pero confuso. Se dice que Dios nos da libre albedrío, lo cual significa que tenemos el poder de decidir nuestros actos y nuestra vida en general. Sin embargo, muchas religiones afirman que si no cumplimos con los decretos de Dios o de las iglesias (religiones organizadas), sufriremos el castigo furioso y perenne de Dios. Así que Dios nos da libre albedrío (libertad para actuar y decidir), sin embargo nos castiga si no hacemos lo que El dice… Confuso. De acuerdo a esta teoría conflictiva, no tenemos libre albedrío porque tenemos que hacer lo que los decretos o dogmas de una religión indican, de lo contrario nos desgraciamos con Dios.

Lo mismo es cierto para la expresión muy común del cristianismo: “no juzguéis y no seréis juzgados”. De acuerdo a esta aseveración, no estamos llamados a juzgar, ya que el Padre Todopoderoso es el único con la potestad para emitir juicio sobre nuestras acciones. Sin embargo, el emitir juicios es un hábito arraigado en el ser humano. Evidencia de esto está en nuestros propios patrones de pensamiento. Nos decimos o escuchamos en el servicio religioso del domingo “no juzguéis”; no obstante, juzgamos a todos por su apariencia, lenguaje, manerismos, opiniones, procedencia, color, raza, inclinación sexual, estilo de vida y por nuestras propias proyecciones sobre las otras personas, fundada o infundadamente.

Así que nos decimos que tenemos libre albedrío pero con la cláusula de que solo podemos actuar en libertad si nos conformamos a un sinnúmero de reglas que nos dicen qué hacer, cómo actuar, dónde, cuándo, cómo y por qué; y le decimos al mundo que no juzgamos pero lo que verdaderamente queremos decir es que simplemente se lo decimos a otro para que nos crean, cuando en realidad estamos juzgando a todos todo el tiempo.

No quiero decir con esto que las reglas no son necesarias para la sana convivencia en sociedad o que algunos seres humanos, incluyéndome, estamos exentos de emitir juicios. Sin embargo, a nivel profundo, la aplicación de estas dos expresiones en la mejor de nuestras habilidades, nos permite ser más que tolerantes: nos permite ser compasivos con otros y con nosotros mismos.

Todos somos diferentes y por ende, tenemos millones de ideas con respecto a la vida y las cosas. Vivir en armonía con esas millones de ideas no es tarea fácil, sin embargo estamos llamados a no juzgar y a respetar el libre albedrío, haciendo lo propio para mantener nuestro derecho a lo mismo. Lo que para alguien es un crimen o una aberración, para otra persona es la norma. No tenemos que aceptar los actos de otras personas simplemente porque sí, pero en el esquema amplio de la creación, debemos entender que todos tenemos derecho a la libertad y dejar que Dios sea el emisor de juicios, tal y como predicamos.

Staying Afloat

Riding the Wave of Life

Our lives are continually in motion, buoyed by the wave that is the universe’s flow. As the wave rises and falls, we are carried forward, through life’s high and low points. The universe’s flow may take us to a place in life where we would rather not be. As tempting as it can be to fight the direction and size of this wave that propels us, riding the wave is intended to make life easier. When you ride the wave, your life can evolve naturally and with minimal effort. Riding the wave, however, is not a passive experience. It is an active process that requires you to be attentive, centered, and awake. You must also practice stillness so you can flow with, rather than resist the wave’s motion.

Because life is dynamic and always changing, it is when we try to make the wave stand still or resist its direction that we are likely to get pulled under by its weight. If you try to move against the wave, you may feel as if you are trapped by it and have no control over your destiny. When you reach a low point while riding the wave and find your feet touching bottom, remember to stay standing so that you can leap forward along with the wave the next time it rises. Trying to resist life’s flow is a losing proposition and costly because you waste energy.

Riding the wave allows you to move forward without expending too much of your own efforts. When you ride the wave, you are carried by it and your head can “stay above water” as you go wherever it takes you. It can be difficult to trust the universe and let go of the urge to fight life’s flow, and you may find it easier to ride the wave if you can stay calm and relaxed. Riding the wave will always take you where you need to go.

THE DAILY OM

January 20, 2009

WOMANHOOD

Woman

Embracing Womanhood


There are many ways and myriad reasons for women to honor and embrace all that they are. And when any individual woman chooses to do so, all women collectively move closer to becoming what they are truly capable of being. By honoring her experience and being willing to share it with others—both male and female—she teaches as she learns. When she can trust herself and her inner voice, she teaches those around her to trust her as well. Clasping hands with family members and friends, coworkers and strangers in a shared walk through the journey of life, she allows all to see the self-respect she possesses and accepts their respect, too, that is offered through look, word, and deed.

When a woman can look back into her past, doing so without regret and instead seeing only lessons that brought her to her current strength and wisdom, she embraces the fullness of her experience. She helps those around her to build upon the past as she does. And when she chooses to create her desires, she places her power in the present and moves forward with life into the future.

Seeing her own divinity, a woman learns to recognize the divinity in all women. She then can see her body as a temple, appreciating its feminine form and function, regardless of what age or stage of life she finds herself. She can enjoy all that it brings to her experience and appreciate other women and their experiences as well. Rather than seeing other women as competition, she can look around her to see the cycle of life reflected in the beauty of her sisters, reminding her of her own radiance should she ever forget. She can then celebrate all the many aspects that make her a being worthy of praise, dancing to express the physical, speaking proudly to express her intellect, sharing her emotions, and leading the way with her spiritual guidance. Embracing her womanhood, she reveals the facets that allow her to shine with the beauty and strength of a diamond to illuminate her world.

The Daily OM

CONVENTIONAL RULES

"Self expression and learning are better fostered without conventional rules that bind creativity and reinforce complacency".

Heath Whitehead

Children's Songwriter and Performer

MUNDO DE HOMBRES

Los avances de las mujeres en el mundo laboral y en la sociedad en general han sido notables en las últimas décadas. Las mujeres han alcanzado penetrar las esferas profesional y política, y avanzar en su lucha por la igualdad de género. Sin embargo, aún nos queda terreno por ganar. La igualdad de la mujer sigue siendo una batalla contra el tiempo y los dogmas masculinos que continúan rigiendo las vidas de las compañías, las religiones, las sociedades, los gobiernos y los hogares.

Cuando pienso en la lucha por la igualdad de género, no puedo evitar pensar por qué, en primera instancia, estamos las mujeres luchando por la igualdad. ¿Por qué es necesario para la mujer abrirse paso a capa y espada para demostrar sus capacidades intelectuales y sus destrezas y competencias? ¿Por qué han existido y aún existen paredes y techos de cristal y de concreto, brechas abismales y puertas cerradas para el desarrollo de la mujer a nivel personal, profesional y social? ¿Cómo y cuándo fue la mujer relegada a un plano inferior y bajo cuáles premisas?

Soy una optimista por naturaleza, pero aun cuando reconozco el progreso significativo que ha experimentado la mujer, me perturba saber que tenemos que continuar vigilantes y en la trinchera de batalla para abrirnos paso en el mundo. Mi posición es que ambos, hombres y mujeres, somos valiosos y merecemos ser reconocidos por nuestras diferencias y similitudes en igualdad de condiciones.

Sé que hay muchas razones por las cuales la mujer es vista por los hombres (y por otras mujeres en muchas instancias) como menos merecedoras de alcanzar el estatus favorecedor que han disfrutado los hombres desde que el mundo es mundo. Nuestras hormonas nos causan cambios químicos que se reflejan en nuestro cuerpo y nuestro comportamiento, muchas veces de manera imperceptible para la mujer y obviamente de manera inevitable. Somos las que, por decreto divino y de la madre Natura, quedamos embarazadas y nos da la mala barriga y todos los síntomas que vienen con el embarazo. Somos las que parimos con dolor y mucho esfuerzo, y las que amamantamos a nuestras crías. Somos las que, por ese proceso maravilloso de la maternidad, tenemos un enlace fuerte con nuestros hijos e hijas, lo cual hace que nuestros retoños acudan a nosotros cuando algo les aqueja (o simplemente porque sí). También, somos las que por naturaleza y/o por socialización se nos ha delegado la responsabilidad de alimentar, cuidar, sanar, calmar, mediar, negociar, interceder, suavizar, mermar y actuar como diosas en los asuntos personales y familiares. No somos el sexo débil. Somos el sexo que tiene los más altos y variados requerimientos y demandas. Los hombres se enfocan en hacer una cosa y en muchas ocasiones la hacen bien (por ejemplo, trabajar, trabajar y trabajar). Las mujeres estamos presentes y actuamos en todos los renglones del círculo de la vida.

Los hombres quieren una esposa “ejemplar”, hijos que jueguen soccer, baloncesto, béisbol y fútbol, e hijas que bailen ballet y tomen clases de modelaje y refinamiento. Quieren que la esposa ayude a los hijos a hacer las asignaciones de la escuela y que se envuelva en la vida académica de los niños. Quieren que la esposa cuide de su suegra enferma y anciana cuando surja la situación. Quieren que la esposa mantenga el hogar limpio, ordenado y listo para ser fotografiado por Better Homes and Gardens en todo momento. Sin embargo, a la hora de trabajar con mujeres, los hombres pueden ser poco sensibles ante lo diverso de las demandas hacia las mujeres. Los hombres trabajan en sus profesiones. Las mujeres trabajan en sus carreras profesionales y hacen todo lo demás, y son penalizadas con sueldos bajos, poca flexibilidad, discriminación, y pocas oportunidades de crecimiento y liderazgo. ¡Que intente un hombre crecer un ser humano dentro de su cuerpo (con todo lo que esto conlleva) y continuar siendo una estrella en todo lo demás, sin queja (o con quejas pero continuando haciéndolo de todas formas)! Que intente un hombre realizar todo esto:

1. Trabajar 10 horas fuera de la casa
2. Ser llamado del colegio de los niños para resolver alguna situación
3. Ser llamado, en promedio, 150 veces en un día para cosas menudas y muy diversas, tales como:
4. Bañar los niños
5. Amarrar zapatos
6. Vestir los niños
7. Lavarles los dientes
8. Peinarlos (y si son niñas, hacerlo con estilo)
9. Calzar los niños
10. Curarles sus heridas (las graves, las no tan graves, las inventadas, las físicas, las emocionales)
11. Levantarse varias veces en las noches por las pesadillas de los niños, para sacar los “monstruos” de debajo de la cama o para cambiarles el pañal y alimentarlos cada par de horas
12. Limpiar y mantener la casa limpia y ordenada
13. Llevar a los niños a sus “playdates” y a todas sus actividades extracurriculares
14. Jugar con los niños aún cuando se está exhausto (mirar todas las anteriores)
15. Cocinar
16. Lavar los platos y limpiar la cocina
17. Hacer proyectos manuales con los niños (no solo tenerlos todo el día viendo TV)
18. Leer cuentos (una y otra vez….)
19. Escucharlos llorar por horas simplemente porque no se les da lo que quieren (repetidas veces en un día)
20. Multiplicar esto por cada niño que se tiene
21. Otros (la lista de tareas es demasiado larga para este blog)

Solo quiero poner las cosas en su justa perspectiva. El mundo depende de y necesita a las mujeres, tal y como necesita de los hombres. ¡Somos las responsables de tanto! Mi llamado es a la compasión y a la igualdad, en su justa perspectiva. Los hombres y las mujeres somos importantes, y necesitamos estar concientes del valor de cada cual y estar dispuestos a reconocerlo estando presentes mental, física y emocionalmente el uno para el otro, incluyendo en el área de trabajo.

SEX! The Big Question: Are Teens Having It?

I am a strong advocate for sex education. I strongly believe education leads to awareness and a greater chance for smarter decision-making. When it comes to SEX, many people choke up and cannot even say the word out loud, nonetheless, say it to their children. For religious reasons, for social reasons, for cultural reasons, sex is so taboo that some people have almost banned the word from their lexicon.


Many people are advocates of abstinence as a remedy for all problems caused by teens having sex. Definitely, abstinence is the only 100% effective preventative measure against STDs and unwanted pregnancies. FULL ABSTINENCE that is; not the abstinence in which individuals go “first base”, “second base”, and/or “just” “third base”, but because penetration is not involved they say and probably believe they are abstinent. I don’t have a problem with abstinence if it is a well-calculated decision. However, abstinence should come with THOROUGH sex education. For many, the meaning of abstinence is to forbid sex talk and sexual activity. A promise for sexual abstinence is empty and built on shaky grounds if education is not present, and could lead to more problems than it intended to solve.


In my experience, youngsters who “decide” to practice sexual abstinence but do not know why (except that their parents do not approve and the church leader says it is wrong), end up engaging in sexual activity totally uninformed as to how to prevent unwanted consequences.


Advocates of sexual abstinence are not immune to encountering problems with sex. Look at our current running VP, Sarah Palin. An advocate of sexual abstinence, she herself was pregnant before getting married (which means she was not practicing abstinence) and now her 17 year old daughter is pregnant without being married. Do not get me wrong: this is not a political analysis and Sarah Palin’s potential as a VP does not lie on her past sexual decisions or her daughter’s. I am not implying Ms. Palin is less qualified for her past sexual conduct or her daughter’s. The point is that, even people whose bastions lie on a strong point like sexual abstinence, for their life, the ideology of their political party, and the beliefs of many who follow them, sexual abstinence is an imperfect formula to solve teen sexual problems.


No formula for addressing teenagers and sex is flawless. However, our best shot at keeping teenagers safe and to award them responsibility over their sexual activity decisions lies in serious and comprehensive sexual education.

I found this article a few days ago and I want to share it.


Education is key, knowledge is power.

Video Music Awards spur ‘promise ring’ debate

After VMA host derided Jonas Brothers, Jordin Sparks defended purity vow



By Mike Celizic

TODAYShow.com contributor

updated 10:27 a.m. CT, Tues., Sept. 9, 2008



A British comic’s jokes at the Video Music Awards about the Jonas Brothers and their “purity rings” have been decried as tasteless in most quarters — but they have also renewed the debate over what direction high school sex education should take.


The conflict is between the abstinence-only approach to sexual education favored by the Bush White House and some faith-based communities and a comprehensive discussion of human sexuality advocated by many clinicians.


VMA host Russell Brand left no question where he stands during the program, taking a shot at the three Jonas Brothers and their vow to remain virgins until marriage. In response, singer Jordin Sparks proudly showed off her own purity ring and returned the volley: “I just have one thing to say about promise rings,” she announced to the audience. “It's not bad to wear a promise ring, because not everybody — guy or girl — wants to be a slut.”


Sex-education advocate Martha Kemper and abstinence activist Denny Pattyn took up the battle Tuesday with TODAY co-host Meredith Vieira.


Dueling debaters“Are we so threatened by a message of morals and values that these young men who chose to wear a ring were attacked?” asked Pattyn, the founder of a program called the Silver Ring Thing, in which teens pledge to remain virgins until marriage. “What’s the fear here? Why can’t we have an alternate message about waiting until you’re married to have sex? Why can’t we have those values? What are we afraid of?”


Kemper, a vice president of the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States, agreed that attacking anyone for their beliefs is wrong. But, she said, “In the same way, though, I think we have to be really careful not to say, ‘If you don’t wear a purity ring, you’re a slut.’ We can’t make that either-or, either you have morals or you don’t. I think we have to be careful to respect everybody’s decisions.”





While being careful not to criticize teens who take purity pledges, Kemper said they’re not for everyone. “The problem is that in too many communities what we’re seeing is programs like Denny’s replacing more comprehensive sexuality education,” she said. “These programs aren’t giving young people the information they need to make decisions now and in their future.”


The issue is very much in the national consciousness. The hit movie “Juno” dealt with a 16-year-old’s unplanned pregnancy. Britney Spears’ 17-year-old sister, Jamie Lynn Spears, got pregnant by her boyfriend and recently delivered a baby. And Bristol Palin, the 17-year-old daughter of Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, sat on stage during the Republican National Convention with the 18-year-old young man who impregnated her. Sarah Palin is an advocate of abstinence-only sex ed.


Disputed findingsClinicians say that Bristol Palin and Spears demonstrate the dangers of not teaching kids about sex and the use of condoms to prevent the spread of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. The United States has one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy in the developed world. Government statistics show that in 2006, more than 400,000 babies were born in this country to mothers aged 15-19.


TODAY
Singer Jordin Sparks defends promise rings on MTV’s Video Music Awards.
Various government and independent studies show that teens who take purity pledges typically put off becoming sexually active for about 18 months longer than teens who don’t. But, several studies warn, when the pledge-takers do become active, they are more likely to have unprotected sex and to engage in risky sexual practices.


The abstinence advocates reject the findings. “Those studies are flawed,” Pattyn flatly told Vieira. He cited a study done by the conservative Heritage Foundation that shows that the purity pledgers are more likely to be high achievers in school and engage in fewer risky behaviors. He also said that condoms are not as effective as advertised and has said that he does not want his own teenage daughters to use them, even if they break their own purity pledges.


Advocates of comprehensive sexual education programs say that condoms lose effectiveness if people don’t know how to use them.


“The idea is that condoms need to be used consistently and correctly, and if we’re not telling them how to do that, they can’t,” Kemper said.

HOW TO RAISE A TOUGH GUY

Many men are afraid their sons will grow up to be "less men" if they do not raise their boys to be tough and independent and an early age. Men and women often teach their boys to reject feelings of being weak or fearful, even under circunstances that call for sensitivity and empathy. Being strong is not only about physical strength. We can teach our boys and girls to be intelligent, compassionate, strong, and respectful of others, especially the opposite sex. Here is an article about raising "tough" boys. I found it honest and refreshing. Hope you enjoy reading it. This topic will continue...

How to raise a tough guy
By Neal Pollack, Men’s Health

At dinner one day, my 5-year-old son, Elijah, took a bite of zucchini and said, "My ears are stopped up."

"That's okay," I said. "You'll be fine."

"But my ears are stopped up!"

"It's no big deal."

Tears began to bubble out, and his voice turned into a whimper. Within a minute he was in his bedroom, writhing on the floor. "My ears! Oh, God! My ears! I'm in pain! I'm in horrible, horrible pain! And I will never feel better ever again!"

At that moment, I realized that I'm raising my son to be a wuss. Just like me.

My dad was tough. He wasn't boxer tough or weekend-tackle-football tough, and he wasn't an outdoorsman. But he'd served in Vietnam, and his life was full of tragedy: His parents escaped Nazi Germany just before Kristallnacht and raised my dad in the Bronx. When my dad was 11, his father died of cancer. His mother remarried, and her second husband had a heart attack soon after. Then, when my dad (a graduate of an Ivy League ROTC program) was on the boat to Vietnam, his mother committed suicide, leaving him the sole guardian of his younger sister.

I, on the other hand, grew up in suburban Phoenix. Never once did I experience a second of want, tragedy, or grief. I was a skinny, sensitive, spazzy kid who had a weird sense of humor and received Fantastic Four comics in the mail, played D&D, and quoted Monty Python. On my Little League team, I was the statistician.

My father was confused by the son he'd produced, and tried to toughen me up. He bought me a set of plastic weights that I had to fill with water, but they started leaking all over my bedroom rug and ended up lost in my closet. He tried to teach me to ride a big-kid bike, but I kept slipping off the seat and banging my crotch, which made me cry and him turn grouchy. His lessons dwindled as I got older, and none ever really took hold.

On the playground, I was a favorite target of bullies. My only weapon: a shrill, prepubescent battle scream that erupted from my lizard brain when I was cornered. Sometimes it scared off the predators.

Back then, I would think ahead. When I have a son, I decided, he's going to be tough. Even if I had to make him that way.

Easier said than done.

My son is sensitive, skinny, and spazzy, and he has a weird sense of humor. While his friends are off skateboarding, he's in his room looking at his ant farm. He cries for half an hour after stubbing his toe. If he suffers any kind of a rash or cut or bruise, he howls as if he were being eviscerated for a crime he didn't commit. Compared with him, I was a childhood version of Jason Bourne.

My wife and I started to notice these tendencies when he was 3, after the time he threw himself on the floor of the local mall because of a leg cramp. Sure, toddlers aren't known for their toughness, but I found his intensity alarming. But nurture can trump nature, right? I'd passed on the wuss gene, so it was time for some gene therapy.

I enrolled Elijah in a karate class. My own martial-arts experience involved four completely incompetent weeks of aikido the summer after college. Still, I knew from the Ralph Macchio movies of my youth that karate was a great way for the ordinary milquetoast to morph into a Bronson-like beast of a man.

The first 3 weeks, my overenthusiastic "So how's he doing?" questions to the master were met with an under enthusiastic "Just fine." After that, I began hearing increasingly distressing reviews. "Elijah needs to concentrate better." "He needs to work on his kicks." "He's just not keeping up with the other kids."

The week before Elijah was supposed to graduate from level one, I went to pick him up after class. An assistant teacher was walking Elijah down the steps. The boy looked shamed, chastised.

"What's this about?" I asked.

"I put my fingers in the electric socket and got into trouble," Elijah said.

"You did what? Why?"

A shrug. "I don't know."

The master came downstairs.

"I don't think Elijah is ready," he said.

No shit, I thought. Perhaps leaving my boy's psyche to a stranger wasn't the best approach. I'd have to toughen him up myself.

Our training started that very evening, under the guise of "playing rough" on my bed, and continues to this day. Since our home is ruled by drama dorks, we begin each session with a call to battle. "Daddy," Elijah shouts, walking into my bedroom. "Do you know what that smell is?"

"No. What?"

"The smell. Of your inamint demise!"

The first 3 weeks, my overenthusiastic "So how's he doing?" questions to the master were met with an under enthusiastic "Just fine." After that, I began hearing increasingly distressing reviews. "Elijah needs to concentrate better." "He needs to work on his kicks." "He's just not keeping up with the other kids."

The week before Elijah was supposed to graduate from level one, I went to pick him up after class. An assistant teacher was walking Elijah down the steps. The boy looked shamed, chastised.

"What's this about?" I asked.

"I put my fingers in the electric socket and got into trouble," Elijah said.

"You did what? Why?"

A shrug. "I don't know."

The master came downstairs.

"I don't think Elijah is ready," he said.

No shit, I thought. Perhaps leaving my boy's psyche to a stranger wasn't the best approach. I'd have to toughen him up myself.

Our training started that very evening, under the guise of "playing rough" on my bed, and continues to this day. Since our home is ruled by drama dorks, we begin each session with a call to battle. "Daddy," Elijah shouts, walking into my bedroom. "Do you know what that smell is?"

"No. What?"

"The smell. Of your inamint demise!"

Since I have no fighting techniques to teach, I performed over and over the trick he finds most amusing. For weeks, he spent 20 minutes sliding down my back as I held him upside down by his ankles. Currently, he enjoys escaping my leg traps. Lately, he's grown more sensitive to injury, so he often stops after 20 minutes to bring in a board game instead.

"Oh, God," I say. "Not Candy Land again!"

That's the way he tests my toughness. I used to mind. Until . . .

A few months ago, I had a flashback. I was drunk and listless at a bar in Austin, Texas, 4 or 5 years ago, when I ran into a friend. He started giving me crap about something. My lizard brain stirred. I began to shriek, much like my son does when he's having a tantrum, and I flailed my hands crazily. I hit my ex-friend on the side of the face with a beer bottle, chipping one of his teeth. As the bouncer tossed me onto the street, I didn't feel tough. I felt like a drug-addled idiot.

I started thinking about what I'd tell my son in the future about that fight. Would he be proud of me? Probably not.

That's when I realized: Physical toughness is only a small part of a man's overall strength. You can be tough about more basic struggles as well, like navigating financial disappointments and keeping your family together during hard times. My father did that when I was a kid, and I watched him. Deliberately or not, he was teaching me important lessons about midlife toughness. Over the past few years, I've worried about losing our home, about putting food on the table. They were hard times, but we survived.

Life will kick your ass in ways that aren't physical, and you need to handle those moments with dignity. That's what makes you tough. In that way, I am a tough guy.

And, most likely, so is Elijah. After all, he's been watching me for 5 years now.

I do plan to give him the good news someday. But right now, he's wailing about the shampoo in his eyes.

Extracted from:
http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/family-parenting/articlebl.aspx?cp-documentid=8800299&page=1

I OWN ME

It is my belief that great deal of how we deal with life situations comes from the way we are raised and all the influences around us in our upbringing. Each individual is a melting pot of a lot of input from all fronts: parents, extended family, friends, guides, teachers, and even strangers through the media and what we read. It is true that feelings are real and, as humans, we have many and complex feelings about all that goes on around us. However, how we decide to react toward our feelings and how we externalize our emotions is or should be our very own decision.

Many people say I cannot control myself when this happens, or I would like to react differently but I can’t. Well, the truth is we can. Some life experiences are not pleasant to live. Humans have a natural tendency to get frustrated when things do not go as planned or as anticipated. Humans who do not feel uneasy when uncertainty strikes are rare, and maybe inexistent. However, some humans act defeated in the face of rejection. Others use their less than pleasant feelings to fuel their drive to act constructively to change their current status for the better. We can learn how to channel the energy from those uncomfortable feelings or situations. We can choose how to act as a next step after experiencing a sore moment. When pain strikes, we can choose to fight or to learn. When uncertainty arrives we can choose to give in to our fear or to see it as an opportunity to embark on a journey of discovery. We can choose to feel defeated or to see “failure” as an opportunity to look for a different way to achieve the desired results. When an unpleasant situation crosses our path, we can choose to sulk and be consumed with negativity or we can rise strengthened and willing to start again.

Happiness is a choice; that’s what I always tell my little boy. Happiness does not happen to a person by miracle. Happiness is a mental, spiritual, and emotional state of perpetually being aware of our greatness and reaffirming it in spite of the challenges of life. Life is not hard. Life is what we make it. I am not implying that we don’t experience negativity in our lives. The important thing is to use those feelings as signals to look into ourselves and become even greater.

Recently, I found this article in the local newspaper and I have to share it. I totally agree!

“Most individuals have the belief that other people, or events, make them either happy or miserable. This simply paints them into an untenable position with no way out. However, I am convinced this phenomenon is the basic premise on which most people base their emotional state. They are happy if things don’t go according to form.

We choose to live our lives outside-in or inside-out. The basic problem with living outside-in is that we have very little control over other people, their choices, or life’s events. If we live inside-out, we at least have some control over how we respond to the same. The final freedom available to humans is to choose our response to whatever may happen to us…I don’t think it makes much sense to give another person all the credit, or all the blame, for whatever our emotional state may be.”

Dough Smith, Licensed Professional Counselor and Columnist for Star Community Newspapers.