ACCEPTING ONESELF

"Aceptarse a uno mismo es el primer paso para amarse a uno mismo. Amarse a uno mismo es tener la confianza de ser, a pesar de todo". Thinking about self confidence and wondering why some people have the bravery to seemingly do more than others, I came to the realization that in essence, self-confidence is grounded on self-acceptance. In order to reach self-acceptance, to love oneself as we are, though to strive to become our best selves not for others but for our own sake, we have to deeply and unequivocally know our selves to the core, our strengths, weaknesses, virtues, past, present, and future, and then with that understanding in hand come to terms with our demons, conquer our fears, and retrieve from within the determination to stand in the world as we are, stripped of the expectations of others and learn to live happily, freely, and intuitively with the person we are. Then, and only then, true self confidence can be achieved.

It is hard to be different, but harder it is to be willing to stay rooted in our grounds and offer ourselves to the world as we are, in our own definition, in harmony with others, but most importantly, with all the parts that compose our whole selves in harmony within. I remember growing up I experienced being different from many angles, and although the temptation to be “same as” was big and an easier load to carry, I always drifted in the direction of what was more suitable for myself. I have been called inconsiderate, cold, and libertine (among other things), although my actions procured the well-being of others, just because I had the guts to stand up, refuse, change, voice-out, and choose to be my own person. It is ironic that all ethics call for humans to be honest, yet honesty is not highly appreciated, nor much tolerated or accepted by others, especially by those one has sentimental ties to. Individuals are called to be honest, sincere, transparent, yet the open expression of differences in thought, feelings, and perspectives is often treated as actions of betrayal, defiance, and desertion.

Self-acceptance requires for individuals to be comfortable in their own skin and to feel the confidence to let that skin show for all to see. One can transpire self-acceptance with respect, compassion, and understanding of others unacceptance, willing to stay open-minded to the learning experience that differences among individuals allows, evolving to strengthen our core through our learning, realizing that differences are healthy and necessary to be unique, and recognizing that differences emerge from the same source and core values ingrained in all humans. To accept one-self is the first step to loving one-self. To love one-self is to have the confidence to be, in spite of all.

THE POWER OF WOMEN

Women have the innate ability to form tight bonds with other women, unlike any other creature on earth. When we care for other women we are willing to go out of our ways to support, aid, and comfort other women. Friendships are deep and meaningful for women, and we have the sensitivity to connect beyond what is explicable. When women love and care for other women our feelings transcend time and distance, our intuition for each other tunes in finely and intertwines with the essence of others, forming a true sisterhood. I call the way women care for each other and the relationships we develop with other women “the tribe”.

Tribal in nature, we develop an effective system to provide nurturing in a special way only women are able to. It is important for women to stand united and recognize that the power of all, amalgamated, is the power of one. Lets use our sisterhood to strengthen our tribe and create the harmony much needed in the world.

Women’s Support

Becoming Our Own Role Models

As women embrace the fullness of who they are as individuals, they may find themselves supporting other women, helping others to reach the level of inner comfort and outer freedom that they themselves have found. Among those who are less sure of themselves and their place in the world, it may be more common to criticize other women than to seek their help. But there are things that a woman can only learn from another woman, as there are things about being a man that can only be learned from other men. We all recognize that we have much to learn from each other regardless of gender, but sometimes we could use a supportive role model that gives us a more precise example of what and who we can become. There was a time where women stood together in a bond of sisterhood, women supporting women. It is only natural that the pendulum swings out of balance for a while so that we may have the experience of what we do not want. It is up to women to bring the pendulum back into balance and bring back the sacred sisterhood we yearn for at our core. If we envision a world where women support each other and help each other find their place in an ever-changing world, then we can become the change we want to see. Jealousy, envy, criticism, and judgment are refuges for the insecure. As we help others to become self-assured, we create a world in which all people help each other, regardless of gender. Only women can make the change in how women are seen and understood, not just by other women but by the world at large. The way we speak about each other to other women and to the men in our lives informs everyone to treat us with the respect that all women, and all people, deserve.

WOMEN AND GOODBYES

Gracias a mi amiga Jody por enviarme este mensaje...gracioso y muy cierto.

"A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it." Helen Rowland

And if you are a Latina, you say 100 goodbyes before actually leaving...two hours after the first goodbye :-)

CONFORMISMO Y MEDIOCRIDAD

“…todos los triunfadores comparten algo en común: Ellos no tienen excusas. No buscan justificar ante los demás por qué las cosas son como son. NO se quejan de sus circunstancias ni inventan excusas para explicar por qué no han alcanzado sus metas. Las personas exitosas simplemente entran en acción y se encargan de hacer lo necesario para que las cosas ocurran. Si tropiezan, se ponen de pie nuevamente y emprenden con renovado entusiasmo su camino hacia los objetivos que persiguen”. Dr. Camilo Cruz
Muchas personas caminan por el mundo, aparentando a simple vista estar desprovistos de ataduras o impedimentos físicos, pero con una prisión invisible a su alrededor y cadenas indelebles que los atan a su realidad por más negativa o poco placentera que ésta sea. El conformismo justifica su inconforme realidad y sufren de lo que yo defino como La Parálisis del Miedo. El conformismo se da por muchas razones, y surge del “entendimiento” de que ante el gran temor al cambio (la parálisis) lo más conveniente es adaptarse y moldearse (conformarse) a la infelicidad. Es irónico que un ser humano pueda y quiera perpetuar los ciclos de insatisfacción, infelicidad, dolor y amargura de su vida en vez de emplear su energía para motivar un cambio. Muchas personas piensan que la vida es dura, difícil, ardua y que sólo algunos, muy pocos, disfrutan de una vida fácil y de alto logro personal, profesional, espiritual y financiero. El conformismo como sistema de defensa permite que las personas vivan en “piloto automático” pero sin atreverse a tomar riesgos mayores para alcanzar y vivir la vida que quieren. Todos tenemos la fuerza y el aplomo para enfrentarnos a la adversidad, realizar cambios, tomar las riendas de nuestra vida y vencer la mediocridad, el miedo y el conformismo. El valor no es algo con el cual solo unos pocos nacieron. El valor es utilizado por aquellos que se dan cuenta de que lo tienen a su disposición para vivir una vida plena y realizada.

LO DIJO UN GENIO...

“No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it. We must learn to see the world anew.” Albert Einstein

En muchas ocasiones me han dicho personas que se sienten agobiadas por problemas que parecen no tener solución. A pesar de que la solución puede ser obvia para un observador, ciertamente el estar inmerso en la energía que acompaña un problema actúa como una cámara que limita la visión para resolverlo. Muchas veces es pertinente retirarnos de la situación para verla de otro ángulo, y de esta forma la solución se muestra evidente. Muchas veces necesitamos una pausa en retirada para disipar la bruma de nuestra mente y regresar viendo claro.

REFLECTING ON THE PAST

You may find yourself meditating on your history, thoughtfully reflecting upon your past. In this philosophical frame of mind, you may be able to discern patterns and gain a greater understanding about your path to this point. We do the best we can at any given moment, so looking back need not invite blame and regret. If we find that such feelings come up, we can apply loving forgiveness to ourselves and to any who we feel have hurt us. They were doing the best they could with the information they had. We can look instead with gratitude at the way our lives have unfolded and learn how to make the journey more consciously from this point forward. By reflecting on your history today, you gain insight into the patterns of your life.

It may be useful throughout this process to continuously ask ourselves how we created each situation in our lives. On an energetic level, we are responsible for everything we bring into our experience. With this in mind, we may be able to change our concept of certain life-changing events from negative to positive. Perhaps something that seemed to randomly happen to us was a result of our longing for an opportunity for growth or a chance to prove our strength to ourselves. It may have been subconscious or from our higher spiritual level, but if we can take responsibility for these occurences, we can release any negative hold they may have on us. Looking back today helps you create more consciously for your future.