GRAVE ERROR

If I should say this myself, I love this poem! I remember when I wrote it and why. It is very simple, it does not need any further explanation...

A friend once shared this with me: "sex is like tennis: when it's good, it's awsome, and when it's bad, it's still pretty good". I do not know who originally wrote or said that, so I cannot give it the proper credit, but what I have to say is that sex is better when there are other elements present that make it meaningul, at least for me. There is a lot of exchange in sex, so when it is done it should have soul, mind, heart, and flesh. However, when all those things are not present, there's this:

Quise borrar tu huella,
aquella pisada que dejaste al andar por mi arena
creyendo que no era permanente
y que se borraría de mí igualmente
que del barco que cruza veloz, la estela.

Creí que tu amor se marcharía
completamente de mí, si permitía
a otra barca habitar mi playa…
ésa que tú dejaste desolada.

Quise librarme de tu sombra,
deshacerme del destello que te nombra;
acallar el murmullo de tu estruendoso recuerdo
que cual llama a la vela me derrite los huesos.

Dejé que mi cuerpo navegara,
que otro mar en mí se desbocara,
pero sólo naufragué loca y sin sentido
cual nave viajera que perdió su destino.

Y en medio de la nada, recobrado el sentido
descubro lo tonta de la odisea que he vivido.
ahora no soy más que gaviota perdida
con las alas rotas y en el pecho una herida,
tratando de olvidar que alguna vez volé
buscando otro destino, pero tan sólo encontré
perdición y ruinas que jamás reconstruiré.

Like tennis: still pretty good because it led to a beautiful poem that now reminds me of how good poetry is to express even the most harsh of feelings.

Bien Dicho!

Este escrito fue publicado en el blog Mc Raven's Generation (http://mcravengeneration.blogspot.com/). Espero que a la mayoría no les pase así. La vida está en nosotros, y nosotros en ella. La vemos de frente a diario, nos toca la mente, el cuerpo y el alma a cada instante. Por esa razón sería lógico pensar que vivimos. Espero que así sea. Por lo pronto, aquí hay algo en lo cual reflexionar:

"Los hombres somos tontos. Sólo nos damos cuenta de lo bella que es la vida cuando nos enfrentamos a la muerte. Y aún así son muy pocos los casos en los que eso sucede. Algunos mueren sin saber lo que es la vida"

"Ikiru", Akira Kurosawa

PERDER O GANAR?

El pesimista diría que nadie sabe lo que tiene hasta que lo ve perdido… El optimista sabe que muchas veces no sabemos de lo que nos hemos perdido hasta que llega a nuestra vida...

Con suerte, las personas sabrán atesorar lo que tienen y ver las grandes oportunidades que nos da la vida para recibir más de lo que se nos ha dado, para construir mejores acciones, para envolvernos en nuevas experiencias y absorber lo máximo de nuestras vivencias. Con suerte aprendemos a valorar lo que está, pero también a atrevernos a enfrentar las posibilidades infinitas que nos ofrece lo que puede ser. Con suerte nunca perdemos, sino que ganamos más allá de lo imaginable, cuando nos quedan las manos vacías para abrazar más y mejor, y el corazón nos queda lleno pero con lugar para abarcar más...

VIAJE A TUS SUEÑOS

More poetry... Supongo que el escribir tanta poesía me hace poetiza. Well, you be the judge of that. I guess I just have a lot to say, and sometimes it comes out better as a poem. Enjoy!

Ayer te vi…sumergido en la espesa bruma de mis lejanos sueños…
regresándome de los sitios de donde te secuestré un momento,
perdido en las entrañas que con tanta pasión reciben
la semilla de ilusiones que riego sin que germine.

Y te sentí…como tantas otras veces a tu invisible contacto;
como cuando estoy contigo sin estar más a tu lado…
Me dejé besar el alma con el sudor del recuerdo
de los momentos de gloria que me levantan del suelo…

Te hice el amor…jugueteando entre las manos de lo que no se arrebata,
sumergida en el revuelo incesante de tu calma;
desnudándome de frente a tu inconsciencia consciente
de una presencia invisible, que no se ve y sí se siente.

Con devoción…alimenté tu hambre de glorificar pasiones,
me liberé de ataduras que resultan de razones;
encontré la libertad de ser prisionera de tus sueños,
esclava que se hace eco en el fondo del silencio.

Y seguiré…viajando a tu mundo insólito donde yaces casi yerto
donde encuentras la otra vida a donde viajo en el tiempo
y eres como en los sueños de lo que sí se desea
y se puede alcanzar la cima tocando nubes de seda.

Sintiéndote…mientras la sangre alimente el templo donde resido
seguiré escapándome de mi prisión a tu nido;
me verás en esas noches ocultada tras el velo
del negro telón que nos cubre para robarte un momento.

Tangie

Things I've Learned from My Child

Cada día las experiencias vividas con nuestros hijos son completamente inolvidables. Paul Vincent es el centro de mi universo (literalmente), y de él aprendo muchas cosas a cada momento de nuestros días juntos. No hay momento en mi día en el cual Paul Vincent no esté presente en mis sentidos, y lo extraño aun cuando está conmigo. Ciertamente su presencia y sus vivencias añaden significado y valor a mi vida.

Cosas que he aprendido de mi hijo:

1. Que hay más de una forma de comerse un helado.
2. Que todos los días hay algo nuevo por hacer.
3. Que todos los días hay algo nuevo por aprender.
4. Que la imaginación no tiene límites.
5. Que hay muchas formas no convencionales de demostrar amor (como por ejemplo correr hacia mamá y tirarse encima de ella sin que ella lo espere, y romperle el labio en el acto).
6. Que el amor a veces duele (refiérase al punto 5).
7. Que las cosas que más dan satisfacción en la vida son gratuitas.
8. Que muchas veces la cura para el mal humor es una buena siesta.
9. Que la risa es el remedio infalible contra cualquier cosa que nos adolece.
10. Que el amor es lo más maravilloso del mundo.
11. Que una sonrisa se puede quedar bailando en el corazón mucho tiempo después de haberla recibido.
12. Que somos capaces de enfrentarlo todo por amor.

La lista continúa…

If you have a child, hold him or her tight and hold on to that embrace for as long as you can.

ESA FUI YO

Me arrebataste en la sombra del cielo más oscuro,
me transformaste en particular de tu íntimo clamor,
me secuestraste a lo alto, me abandonaste al desnudo
firmamento de pasiones que jamás me conoció.

Me moliste de nada hasta volverme éter
y fui un tú sin fronteras queriendo no ser verdad
para no regresar jamás a ser el yo de siempre
y seguir siendo nada transformada en altar.

Recogí tu fuerza creadora guardándola en mis vestigios
de solitaria vagabunda suplicando despertar,
y me llevé en ti a otro mundo donde no existen prodigios,
donde solo ser un eco o un gemido es libertad.

THE POWER OF CONFIDENCE

Self-confidence is a powerful thing. When one lacks it, it can lead to self destruction, literally. When one has it, it is like fuel that injects our actions and decisions with the right energy to pursue our goals and dreams. Self-confidence is reflected in everything we do, and others can really “pick” on our confidence level. Self-confidence glows through a person when he or she has it, and makes a shadow out of a person when is missing. The level of self-confidence affects our relationships with others, at any level, our life choices, our performance in almost every aspect of life, and how balanced our life is, to name a few things. Mostly, self-confidence affects the way we give to others and how we receive what others have to give us. Self-confidence affects our sense of self-worth, and it mirrors in our actions, our thoughts, our dreams and aspirations, and our level of happiness.

Confidence is a tricky trait. I have read and been explained how it develops, but it seems like there is more to self-confidence than the possible explanations for it that one can find in a psychology book. I have known very self-confident people who are confident in spite of all the badness that happened to them during childhood and in life. I have met people who were not self-confident and developed their confidence, becoming radiant and powerful in adulthood. I have met people who developed in nurturing, loving, safe, and encouraging homes when they were young, and still are not confident as adults. However, I do know that self-confidence is one of the keys to happiness, as it affects self image, self worth, self identity, and the ability to live with the self and others.

How to increase self-confidence is a topic for maybe another article. If you lack self-confidence, start taking the steps to mend it, rebuild it, strengthen it, nurture it, redefine it, and believe it. Start with knowing that each one of us are unique, one of a kind, and as such each one of us hold the potential to become the only one in the world like ourselves. We can hold our own world record, actually, we have already just by being here and being us. Each person has a different menu of offerings, unique things to give, and a unique way of receiving and experiencing life. Each one of us is a world, interesting and amazing, deep and full of wholeness and newness. That alone is something to feel very confident about.

Life Through the Eyes of a Cat

I find the way cats live their lives fascinating! I have a cat named Nicky, and she never ceases to amuse me. Her curiosity for life sparks her interest for things every time, no matter how many times she has seen those things before. Nicky, and cats in general, are always seeking newness in old and familiar things, and they always get amazed and amused by those things. Today Nicky was trying to open a door that she has opened many times before, and when she finally did, she went inside and explored what was in as though she had never seen any of that stuff before. Her attention focuses on the details of the things that she sees, and her paws follow the path of her eyes. Everything is so new and exciting for her, each time, every time!

I want to see life with cat eyes. I want to be amazed by everything everyday, as though I had never seen those things in my life. I want to explore the world with interest and curiosity, and never cease to do it regardless of how many times I have seen everything. I want to feel the wholeness of life, be interested in everything that is in it, and be excited about the new as I learn from it, and the old as I find new meaning to it. I will also keep watching Nicky in her discoveries and be amazed by her ingenuity, curiosity, and excitement for life.

Poema Hermoso

Hoy me sentí inspirada a declamar poesía, y dejé que los poemas viejos salieran de mi boca esta mañana para llenar mi espacio de sentimiento y la musa de otros. En ese momento poético recordé este poema tan hermoso de José P.H. Hernández, poeta puertorriqueño. Este poema lo memoricé cuando tenía doce años, y hoy descubrí que nunca se ha ido de mí. ¡Bello!

Si Dios un día cegara toda fuente de luz,
el universo se alumbraría con esos ojos que tienes tú.
Pero si un día, lleno de enojos
por tal blasfemia, tus lindos ojos
Dios te arrancase
para que el mundo con la alborada de tus pupilas no se alumbrase.
Aunque quisiera Dios no podría
tender la noche sobre la nada,
porque aún el mundo fulguraría
con el recuerdo de tu mirada.

José P.H. Hernández

WHAT REALLY MATTERS

Julio César Sanabria & me in Puerto Rico

During my visit to Puerto Rico I had the chance to visit with old friends who mean a lot to me and have added a lot of cheer, joy, and value to my life. One of those old friends is my friend Julio César Sanabria. Julio César has an amazing story. He is an accomplished artist, singer of traditional Puerto Rican music, a lawyer, president of the Chamber of Commerce of Western Puerto Rico, and founder and president of his own event productions and artists’ promotion company in Puerto Rico, and he is only 31 years old. He has been a defendant of the Puerto Rican culture with all his heart and passion ever since he was a child, and has overcome a lot of adversity to become an icon of our culture and an economic leader.

Being everything that he is, Julio César is a very busy individual. He visited me in my house for about 5 minutes one afternoon, which meant a lot to me. The next day he invited me over to his house for dinner, which I accepted gladly and gratefully. There he cooked for me and then he said he wanted to focus on me and to hear everything that I was doing. After a few hours talking, he said to me that he could have worked or attended to his wide array of social events on that evening, but that he cancelled everything in his itinerary so he could be with me, as that is far more important than his professional commitments. He said that the moments spent with me were never coming back, and in realizing so he wanted to make the most out of our time together, even if it meant standing some other people up. His attention and devotion to me for those few hours made me feel very welcomed and our friendship highly appreciated. He reaffirmed a lesson that I had already learned as we lived that brief moment together that will stay in our hearts forever: that there are some things in life that are not worth putting on hold, such as showing our loved ones that we care deeply for them.

Life is full of challenges, commitments, appointments, agendas, and time structures to do almost everything. However, there is also a deadline to be met with our heart and our soul, and that one, although is the one that is put on hold most often, is the one that should not have to wait, at least not for too long. If not always, it is always comforting to attend to the matters of the heart, as those are the ones that matter the most. The extrinsic in our lives will always be there, as long as we make the life the way it is. We can not, though, let the intrinsic die of malnutrition and neglect, as that is the meaning of our existence. So lets all take time on a regular basis to be appreciative of ourselves, of others, and of all things that otherwise we would take for granted. Lets make a date periodically with ourselves and with the people we care about to show our commitment, passion, love, interest, and joy for having one another. The rest will wait.

TO DANCE AND TO LOVE

I love to dance! I think I was born dancing, and dancing is one of the things that gives me more joy and pleasure in the world. There is a rush, a feeling of exhilaration and joy when my body engages in rhythmical movement, responding to the music that surrounds me. I instinctively dance when I hear music, and literally my body cannot stay still in the presence of music. Even if I am not thinking about it, when my subconscious mind perceives the sound waves of music, it sends a message to my body urging it to move, and sometimes my conscious mind notices when I am already dancing.

Dancing is soothing, sensual, energetic, sexual, relaxing, invigorating, and charged with all the right energy to make the body, mind, and soul unite and be merry. Dancing can also bring us together and close to one another.

Nacheska Gentry-Combs, my belly dancing teacher, sent me this article about dancing and how some people, apparently, are born to dance. I guess I am one of those people. Even those without the dancing genes should try the magical and mystical experience of dancing every once in a while. If you dance, keep dancing and sharing your dancing with yourself and others. If you do not dance, try it and you may find that it suits you well. And as Nacheska would say: “joyous dancing everyone!”

Study: Some People are Born to Dance By Jennifer Viegas, Discovery News Feb. 21, 2006 -

Professional dancers are born with at least two special genes that give them a leg up on the rest of us, according to a new study. Recent research also has suggested that intelligence, athletic ability and musical talent are linked to our genes and brain hard- wiring. With dancing added to the list, the evidence indicates that certain individuals are born with a predisposition to specific behaviors and talents, and that at least some of these qualities may represent evolved attributes. "I think that dancing is an evolved trait," said Richard Ebstein, who led the recent study, published in a recent Public Library of Science Genetics journal. "Animals have courtship dances and I think that human dancing represents the further development of a very ancient animal trait." Ebstein, a psychology professor at Hebrew University's Scheinfeld Center for Genetic Studies, said, "Also the fact that dancing is universal and existed in all human societies, even those communities of man separated geographically by tens of thousands of years (native Australians, native Americans, Africans, Eurasians) attests to the very early origin of dance in our evolution as a species."

Ebstein, doctoral student Rachel Bachner-Melman and their colleagues examined the DNA of 85 currently performing dancers and their parents. They then did the same thing for 91 competitive athletes and 872 people who neither regularly dance nor often participate in sports. The scientists discovered that dancers tend to possess variants of two genes that are involved in the transmission of information between nerve cells. One of the identified genes is a transporter of serotonin, a brain transmitter that contributes to spiritual experience. The second is a receptor of the hormone vasopressin, which many studies suggest modulates social communication and human bonding. "People are born to dance," Ebstein told Discovery News. "They have (other) genes that partially contribute to musical talent, such as coordination, sense of rhythm. However, the genes we studied are more related to the emotional side of dancing - the need and ability to communicate with other people and a spiritual side to their natures that not only enable them to feel the music, but to communicate that feeling to others via dance." Ebstein believes some adults may possess the special gene variants, but they perhaps never nurtured the related skills or recognized their hidden talent. He said, "Many of us surely have the ability, but for a hundred reasons never exploited that particular talent." Ebstein explained that the identified genes seem to be linked to every form of dancing, from tap to hula, since all usually involve social communication and connecting to music or rhythms.

Irving Gottesman, a senior fellow in psychology at the University of Minnesota and an emeritus professor from the University of Virginia, is one of the world's leading experts on genes as they relate to human behavior and psychology. Through prior research papers sent to Discovery News, Gottesman emphasized that genes are only one part of "complex causality" systems that make us who we are. For example, Gottesman confirmed that intelligence can be in our genes, but that socioeconomic considerations, such as a quality education, can have a greater influence on a person's intellect. Ebstein agreed that genes were not the whole story. He said those of us without a twinkle-toed predisposition can still become good dancers, since "it's not only a question of having the right genes, but also training and motivation, that make professional dancers."

ADDING YEARS

My birthday is approaching soon, and I have had a few persons asking me what do I want for my birthday already. Already? Wow, talk about reminders that a new “age” is right around the corner. Do not get me wrong, I love my birthday, and birthdays in general. For me, my birthday was the beginning of something completely amazing and wonderful as it is my life on this earth (up for debate if I started living when I was born or before, or if this is my first life on this earth, or if I have had more lives in other “earths”). Anyway, for me my birthday is the biggest celebration of the year, since it commemorates when I first took a breath of air and my existence here began. I love to announce my birthday, celebrate it, and share it with all who are interested (and with a few that might not care too much). For some reason, birthdays are a time to reflect, and get a excited or shocked (or both) at how fast time goes by.

Many years ago I read that the most important thing is not to add years to our lives, but life to our years, and I have held on to that thought. As I grow older, and hopefully wiser, I want to think that I also grow calmer, more interesting and interested in the things that really matter, and truly involved in the world. I want to think that I am becoming more and more the true essence of what moves me as a human being, and that my enthusiasm and passion for life can touch and inspire, and hopefully transform myself and others.

I certainly do not know how many more birthdays I have yet to celebrate. I will, though, celebrate this one as though it was the last one in store for me. I will laugh, be merry, and let my happiness take over all things that pertain to me and all those who I care about. I will let the light in me shine through me to become more powerful and radiant. I will allow myself to look at myself with contentment, satisfaction, and pride at how good things have turned out. I will be grateful for another birthday, for the beginning of a new era in my life, for the life that I celebrate on this special day and always, and for what I am becoming. All those things are worth celebrating on every 8th of July, and everyday.

WHAT YOUR SPIRIT NEEDS

I want to share this with all of you. The article that follows was sent to me by my friend Rhett Lynch, taken from The Daily OM, a spiritual newsletter. The words hold a lot of truth, at least for me. Do not ignore your soul. Whatever it is that your soul needs to feel in-tune, nurtured, and alive do not forget to give it to yourself. Your whole you will deeply appreciate it!

In a world where we have routines for nearly everything-our route to work, our physical fitness regimen, and our weekday schedule-it's amazing how many people forget to create a routine for meeting their spiritual needs. We run around in an attempt to be at our many appointments on time and meet our many obligations. In our efforts to be as productive as possible, however, our spiritual needs tend to take a backseat. After all, taking care of our spiritual needs doesn't directly pay the bills or tone our abdominal muscles. We may even wonder who has time to meditate or write in their journal when there are more pressing matters to see to. The truth is that nurturing ourselves spiritually is what gives us the energy and grounding that we need to make sure that our lives stay on track. How you choose to nurture yourself spiritually is a personal choice. For some people, meditating once a day may be what they need to stay centered. While spending 10-20 minutes with your eyes closed and your brain devoid of thought may seem like a lot of time doing nothing, this state of nothingness actually allows you to stay calm and focused so you can be as productive as possible. Writing in your journal everyday lets you stay in touch with yourself so that you are always tuned in to your feelings. Repeating affirmations for success, happiness, and well-being on a regular basis can help you live with optimism and enthusiasm and create what you want in life. Having a routine for nurturing your spirit that you do each day lets you feed energy to your soul and can serve you well if your life suddenly takes an unexpected turn into a difficult period. This kind of routine grounds your spirit in your body so that you stay anchored in yourself as you move through each day. Nurturing yourself spiritually allows you to not only stay on track in your life, but it allows for your life to stay on track with what your spirit wants.

WHERE THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY

There is always a way to accomplish, to excel, to conquer, to do, to fulfill, to realize, to achieve the things that matter to us. There is always a way to find the way, different ways, better ways. There is always a way to be and to become. We just have to find the way, and it might be already laid before our eyes.

MOTHER'S DAY

Today is a day to celebrate motherhood. At least, it is the official day proclaimed by some government officials in which mothers are supposed to emulated, celebrated, honored, and thanked for all their motherhood duties. I am part of the celebration today, as I celebrate the mothers in my life. As for me, I celebrate my own motherhood everyday.

Maybe an official mother’s day is necessary to remind everyone of the great contributions of mothers to the world and to our lives. However, ideally, there would not be the need to have a day marked in the calendar to remind us to think about the significance of motherhood and mothers to our world, and to celebrate it. Mothers do courageous, selfless, loving, unconditional things everyday, on a regular basis, and that is worth thinking about, celebrating, and appreciating not once a year, but everyday. Of course, as humans we do need the structure dates and reminders provide to frame our actions when it comes to celebrations like mother’s day, so let this be a day to celebrate all mothers, including ourselves, the ones blessed with the immeasurable gift of motherhood.

THE SIMPLE LIFE

Going to Puerto Rico always brings back feelings and memories that never become part of the past. Puerto Rico is very much in me, through a connection that never ceases. It is always good to go back home. I go back often, in spite of all the production that I have to orchestrate to be able to get there. Everybody gets so happy with our visit, it makes my spirit rise.

Seeing San Juan from above was everything I had anticipated, as I have seen it so many times. Driving back to my hometown is always soothing, as I get to see the scenery that is absolutely majestic. Being in my old neighborhood where my grandparents still live (and most of my friends as well) is like a trip to the past in which time has stopped. The lifestyle in my neighborhood is still calm and quiet. People keep the door to their houses open all day, visitors just pop in, uninvited and unannounced, and it is totally OK and right; people expect visitors to eat at their houses, even if it is a little snack, and it is very impolite to refuse; everyone we know made a big deal out of our visit, which made us feel very welcomed and important.

Sabana Grande looked exactly the same as the last time I was there, the way it has looked all my life. The same little stores are still up and running, the signature little restaurants are still open for business, and the same arguments about politics and economics permeate the atmosphere. I do not share the same vision about life as most of the people in my hometown, however, I can appreciate the simple life they live. It is a place of pure simplicity and limited worries, and my time also stops when I am there.

JUST IN CASE

It is so interesting how diverse and unique experiences tie us to other people, and make us develop relationships that transcend time and space. Today I got a message from a very dear friend that made my spirit feel warm and cozy. The brief time we shared in physical proximity as neighbors and friends in San Juan, Puerto Rico, started a deep bond between us that is still present up to this day in spite of the distance and the time that separates us.

A recent death of a 36 year old female who died of breast cancer has gotten me thinking about relationships and life altogether. Nobody can tell how long or short our lives will be, so we have to make the most out of each second of our existence, with ourselves and the people we care about. I have said this before, and I truly believe it. I have to say and show my feelings for others because it makes my soul feel in the right place, and the good energy surround me. I want to express my feelings for the people I love with words and with my actions. Sometimes words are not enough, and sometimes actions are not enough by themselves, so I want to take every little opportunity I have to make each day count with the ones I love, treasure, and appreciate. I hope everyone can do the same.

PUERTO RICO

My favorite dish: Mofongo con Camarones (Smashed Green Plantains with Shrimp). Yummy!!!

Isla de Ratones (Rats Island)

Playa Jaboncillos, Guánica (Jaboncillos Beach)

Part of the Guánica shore

The Passage to Paradise

View from Joyuda, Cabo Rojo, PR

The tree on the beach, Joyuda