Wednesday, April 30, 2008

WOMAN ON HOLD

Motherhood is one of the leading forces on earth. There is no such energy and passion as the courage, devotion, and love of mothers to their offspring. Mother Nature is wise in teaching us that lesson. A feline mother is fearless when it comes to defending her kittens. Even the smallest bird exerts a courage inconmensurate with her size when it comes to facing her most fearsome opponents in order to protect her baby birds. Human mothers (most of them) experience a new level of conciousness when they bear life and bring new life into this world. There is no stronger sense of wholeness and merge with the universe and the power that is greatest than ourselves than when we become mothers. Enlightment happens. Happiness strikes. A new life begins, for both mother and child.

While all those pleasant feelings are being experienced during motherhood, the demands of our children on us are strong. Often times, we give up our bodies to bring them into this world. We nurture them, often times with our own bodies. They depend entirely on us for their survival, learning, amusement, and socialization. We are the centers of their universe and it is easy to get absorbed deeply into giving our whole selves to our children. The task of being a mother is not an easy one. No one works more hours, lives more sleep deprived, and is demanded so much attention than mothers. After a while of performing our motherly duties with complete devotion we cannot help to question whether the women we used to be still lives.

I call mothers “women on hold”. For a period of time (sometimes longer, sometimes shorter) our existence is focused entirely on our role as mothers. It is the natural thing to do, but also, different cultures teach, enforce, and demand the role of mothers to be an exclusive venture. For those who have a strong drive to be more than a mother, dilema strikes as the demands of motherhood seem to consume our cores.

There are a lot of strategies a woman can implement to feel like her humanity, separate from that one of child, is emerging, at least every once in a while. A lot has been written about that, and my intention with this writing is not to outline a plan. My message is to tell women they do not have to feel they have given up on themselves for the sake of motherhood. There will never be a more gratifying job in the world than being a mother. Sometimes, we just put ourselves on hold for a while to bring up those children that have been entrusted to us. If your womanhood is on hold, let her peek out regularly to see the light. She will wait but she also needs to be nourished, just like your offspring. She needs attention, pampering, to be listened to, attended to, cared for. She will wait for you to be ready to reclaim her. Comfort her and tell her she will not be on hold forever, just for a little while while you enjoy motherhood. And invite her, your woman on hold, to enjoy motherhood with you. She will treat you good when it is her turn to return the favor.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

EL PODER DE LAS PALABRAS


Las palabras cargan un poder y una energía poderosa. Las palabras son extensiones de nuestra energía, de nuestro pensamiento, que ponemos a la disposición del mundo y quien las escucha o las lee. Las palabras tienen un poder por sí solas, a pesar de que la ejecución de las mismas depende del individuo. Cuando utilizamos la palabra indiscriminadamente podemos entrar en una disyuntiva cuando nuestra energía no es compatible con lo que decimos. El conflicto de no ser espejo de nuestras propias palabras nos afecta a nosotros a nivel personal y a los individuos en los cuales nuestra palabra tiene algún impacto. Muchos no se dan cuenta del poder tan inmenso de la palabra. No existe en nosotros los humanos capacidad mayor para explicar el significado de nuestra vida y lo que somos como individuos que la palabra. Nuestras acciones son reflejo de lo que somos, pero la palabra viene de quiénes somos, de nuestro centro y esencia. Idealmente, nuestras palabras son cónsonas con nuestras acciones. Que siempre nuestras palabras sean un retrato de nuestra alma para el que las escucha (incluyendo a nosotros mismos).

Thursday, April 17, 2008

RENCORES

Life is too short to hold resentment...I have learned that. We are humans, and we cannot avoid feeling sad, blue, disconcerted, scared, angry, and doubtful at times...but certainly, we all create our own reality. Missery loves equal. Missery attracts equal. Although we cannot avoid to feel those less than pleasant feelings from time to time, we can all learn to let go of them quickly enough to go on with our lives and live them freely and fully. We choose for how long we want negativity to linger around. Lets not leave empty places in our hearts that can make way for pain, anger, resentment, hatred, arrogance, and pride. By learning to release we live in the moment and create better circumstances for our lives. Lets love and bless each day and each experience our days unfold for us. Lets love, and then love more.

My friend Glomarie sent me this text. Those words, I echo...

"Renuncia totalmente a los rencores, resentimientos o resquemores; no des espacio al odio en tu corazón. Niégate a intoxicarte con cualquier sentimiento negativo relacionado con el odio. Procura siempre alimentar tu espíritu con ideas, conceptos y sentimientos nobles, de perdón, de tolerancia, respeto a pesar de las diferencias y... de olvido. Notarás que día a día mejorará tu calidad de vida".

Y le agrego:

Válgale a cada día su propio afán. Todo a su tiempo...

Thursday, April 10, 2008

BAD DAYS


How bad is a "bad" day? Only bad if we define them that way. Let all days be good days for learning, if for nothing else...


April 10, 2008
Finding The Gift
Bad Days


We all have days when it feels like the world is against us or that the chaos we are experiencing will never end. One negative circumstance seems to lead to another. You may wonder, on a bad day, whether anything in your life will ever go right again. But a bad day, like any other day, can be a gift. Having a bad day can show you that it is time to slow down, change course, or lighten up. A bad day can help you glean wisdom you might otherwise have overlooked or discounted. Bad days can certainly cause you to experience uncomfortable feelings you would prefer to avoid, yet a bad day may also give you a potent means to learn about yourself.


You may consider a bad day to be one where you have missed an important meeting because your car stalled or the dryer broke or you received a piece of very bad news earlier in the morning. Multiple misfortunes that take place, one after the other, can leave us feeling vulnerable and intensely cognizant of our fragility. Although bad days can only have a long-term negative effect on us if we let them, it is better to ask yourself what you can learn from these kinds of days. The state of your bad day may be an indicator that you need to stay in and hibernate or let go of your growing negativity.


Bad days contribute to the people we become. Though we may feel discouraged and distressed on our bad days, a bad day can teach us patience and perseverance. It is important to remember that your attitude drives your destiny and that one negative experience does not have to be the beginning of an ongoing stroke of bad luck. A bad day is memorable because it is one day among many good days. Otherwise, we would not even bother to acknowledge it as a bad day. Know, too, that everybody has bad days. You are not alone, the world is not against you. Tomorrow is a brand new day, greet it with love and watch it unfold into perhaps, a better day.


The Daily Om

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

EDUCATION BUILDS A FUTURE

Latinas everywhere face strong obstacles to their personal and professional development; that is well-known. Many of us have made strides and overcome obstacles and adversity in order to reach success; however, the vast majority of Latinas still encounter invisible, but solid barriers to build better lives for themselves, and the external forces that create those barriers are still latent, potent, and evident. Education is undoubtedly the best tool for Latinas to continue a significant and constant path to a better life.

Education is indeed an elixir that begins to heal many social plagues. Our culture, in spite of its goodness, imposes limiting barriers for women. Some of the obstacles Latinas face to further their education are: 1) limited education in the household; 2) marrying at an early age; 4) teen pregnancies; 4) having a family and aiding with extended family, which leads to premature adulthood; 5) high school graduation rate for Latinas is lower than for any other ethnic group; 6) Latinas are less prepared for and less likely to take college entrance examination exams than any other ethnic group; 7) Latinas are under-enrolled in gifted and talented education programs in schools, less than any other ethnic group; 8) Latinas are the least likely of any women to complete a bachelor’s degree; 9) isolation, racism, stereotyping, and prejudice in schools, colleges, and universities; 10) depression and mental health issues that leads Latinas to attempt suicide more than young women and women of any other ethnic group; 11) lack of financial resources to go to college; and 12) limited access to information on educational options, programs, and financial aid to go to college.

Why are Latinas so plagued with these problems? Latinas are raised in traditional homes that enforce them to conform to traditional expectations for females. There are low expectations from families when it comes to Latinas and their education. These low expectations come from their families, school teachers, and faculty in college. Because of the strict traditional roles and unquestioned respect to authority, Latinas lack networking skills to reach out. The Hispanic culture puts family obligations and responsibilities in higher regard with respect to education, and families impose these obligations and responsibilities on its women. Even when Latinas work outside the household and/or study, they are expected to come home and fulfill the vast majority of household chores and family duties. Another obstacle Latinas face when trying to pursue their education is the fact that they lack the support and understanding from family members in the household or their spouses when these women are trying to fulfill their school/college workload. The lack of role models, and lack of encouraging messages to stay in school and pursue higher education from key persons in these young women’s lives (parents, spouses, teachers, etc), instill in the psyches of Latinas a defeating attitude toward education and life in general. Another big issue is that Latinas may not understand the enhanced long-term benefits of education, and short term economic needs of the family, along with the instant gratification of a paycheck, may mirage to Latinas a false sense of stability and well-being.

How do we cure this problem? We must all become the voice that speaks to Latinas, loud and clear, about the benefits of pursuing an education. We must reach out to them and help them build a future. We are all responsible for the future of women in our culture, in our society and in our world. For those of us who have walked the walk and have overcome the obstacles of our culture, society, and to our education, helped by other comadres and hermanas, we must pay it forward. With our encouragement, example, and determination, we can make a difference in a young Latina’s life. Education builds a future!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

UN HOMBRE CON PANTALONES

Doctor Santiago Dexeus, español, es un hombre del que muchos otros deben aprender.


Preguntas y Respuestas con el Doctor Santiago Dexeus

"SURGE UNA NUEVA MUJER QUE MUCHOS AUN NO COMPRENDEN"
MARIA EUGENIA YAGÜERAICES: Barcelona, 18 de marzo de 2007.

Miembro de una saga de investigadores en ginecología. PIONERO: En el Instituto Dexeus nació el primer bebé probeta español, en 1984. EXPOSICION: «Mujer. Un cuerpo, una vida», la muestra que organiza en Barcelona, estará abierta varios meses.

Dar a conocer la mentalidad, el cuerpo de la mujer y su funcionamiento es el propósito de la exposición Mujer, un cuerpo, una vida, que organiza la Fundación Santiago Dexeus a finales de marzo en el Fórum de Barcelona. El doctor Dexeus, una eminencia mundial en ginecología, cree que la mujer sigue siendo la gran asignatura pendiente de nuestra sociedad.

PREGUNTA.- Parece que también van a tratar ustedes el lenguaje que a veces escuchamos de los médicos.
RESPUESTA.- Es que les dicen cosas tremendas: «La vamos a vaciar». Eso suena a agresión, a que van a cavar un túnel o algo así. ¿No se puede hablar de histerectomía y ya está?

P.- ¿Cómo ha influido la independencia económica de la mujer en la maternidad y en la vida de pareja?
R.- Teniendo que pagar un peaje que es mal comprendido por el hombre que tienen al lado. Las mujeres trabajan fuera de casa y al volver siguen trabajando. Y cuando ellos intentan ayudar un poco, como son unos patosos, ella acaba diciendo siempre: «Quita, quita, que ya lo hago yo». Es tremendo. El hombre no está preparado para convivir con una mujer que vale tanto o más que él en los terrenos que ellos han dominado siempre. Lo llevan mal.

P.- ¿Cómo ve esas relaciones tan vistosas que se dan hoy, mujer de 50, hombre de 25?
R.- Socialmente no le veo la menor objeción. En el tema médico, una mujer con menopausia tiene problemas mecánicos, perfectamente solucionables. De todas formas, cualquier problema de la sexualidad masculina se ha investigado y solucionado con más rapidez que los de la mujer. Pero ahora ellas exigen y hablan claro. Llegará la igualdad.

P.- Las feministas acabarán haciéndole un monumento. ¿Los hombres no le miran con malos ojos?
R.- De donde más he aprendido ha sido de mi padre y de las mujeres que he tratado, así que soy consecuente con mis ideas. Comprendo que algunas pueden ofender al hombre, respeto esas opiniones pero no significa que las comparta. Romper tabúes siempre genera inseguridad en el género masculino. Está surgiendo una nueva mujer que muchos todavía no comprenden. Es cuestión de tiempo.

P.- ¿Y las maternidades tardías?
R.- Como ciudadano admito que cada uno haga lo que quiera, pero como médico veo claro que el hijo de una mujer de 67 años será huérfano pronto. En nuestra clínica tenemos un tope de 50 años para un tratamiento de fecundación.

Monday, February 25, 2008

GOODBYES

Goodbye To All That (#2) by Robin Morgan
February 2, 2008
Goodbye To All That” was my (in)famous 1970 essay breaking free from a politics of accommodation especially affecting women (for an online version, see http://blog.fair-use.org/category/chicago/).
During my decades in civil-rights, anti-war, and contemporary women’s movements, I’ve avoided writing another specific “Goodbye . . .” But not since the suffrage struggle have two communities—joint conscience-keepers of this country—been so set in competition, as the contest between Hillary Rodham Clinton (HRC) and Barack Obama (BO) unfurls. So.
Goodbye to the double standard . . .
—Hillary is too ballsy but too womanly, a Snow Maiden who’s emotional, and so much a politician as to be unfit for politics.
—She’s “ambitious” but he shows “fire in the belly.” (Ever had labor pains?)—When a sexist idiot screamed “Iron my shirt!” at HRC, it was considered amusing; if a racist idiot shouted “Shine my shoes!” at BO, it would’ve inspired hours of airtime and pages of newsprint analyzing our national dishonor.
—Young political Kennedys—Kathleen, Kerry, and Bobby Jr.—all endorsed Hillary. Senator Ted, age 76, endorsed Obama. If the situation were reversed, pundits would snort “See? Ted and establishment types back her, but the forward-looking generation backs him.” (Personally, I’m unimpressed with Caroline’s longing for the Return of the Fathers. Unlike the rest of the world, Americans have short memories. Me, I still recall Marilyn Monroe’s suicide, and a dead girl named Mary Jo Kopechne in Chappaquiddick.)
Goodbye to the toxic viciousness . . .
Carl Bernstein's disgust at Hillary’s “thick ankles.” Nixon-trickster Roger Stone’s new Hillary-hating 527 group, “Citizens United Not Timid” (check the capital letters). John McCain answering “How do we beat the bitch?" with “Excellent question!” Would he have dared reply similarly to “How do we beat the black bastard?” For shame.
Goodbye to the HRC nutcracker with metal spikes between splayed thighs. If it was a tap-dancing blackface doll, we would be righteously outraged—and they would not be selling it in airports. Shame.
Goodbye to the most intimately violent T-shirts in election history, including one with the murderous slogan “If Only Hillary had married O.J. Instead!” Shame.
Goodbye to Comedy Central’s “Southpark” featuring a storyline in which terrorists secrete a bomb in HRC’s vagina. I refuse to wrench my brain down into the gutter far enough to find a race-based comparison. For shame.
Goodbye to the sick, malicious idea that this is funny. This is not “Clinton hating,” not “Hillary hating.” This is sociopathic woman-hating. If it were about Jews, we would recognize it instantly as anti-Semitic propaganda; if about race, as KKK poison. Hell, PETA would go ballistic if such vomitous spew were directed at animals. Where is our sense of outrage—as citizens, voters, Americans?
Goodbye to the news-coverage target-practice . . .
The women’s movement and Media Matters wrung an apology from MSNBC’s Chris Matthews for relentless misogynistic comments (www.womensmediacenter.com). But what about NBC’s Tim Russert’s continual sexist asides and his all-white-male panels pontificating on race and gender? Or CNN’s Tony Harris chuckling at “the chromosome thing” while interviewing a woman from The White House Project? And that’s not even mentioning Fox News.
Goodbye to pretending the black community is entirely male and all women are white . . .
Surprise! Women exist in all opinions, pigmentations, ethnicities, abilities, sexual preferences, and ages—not only African American and European American but Latina and Native American, Asian American and Pacific Islanders, Arab American and—hey, every group, because a group wouldn’t exist if we hadn’t given birth to it. A few non-racist countries may exist—but sexism is everywhere. No matter how many ways a woman breaks free from other discriminations, she remains a female human being in a world still so patriarchal that it’s the “norm.”
So why should all women not be as justly proud of our womanhood and the centuries, even millennia, of struggle that got us this far, as black Americans, women and men, are justly proud of their struggles?
Goodbye to a campaign where he has to pass as white (which whites—especially wealthy ones—adore), while she has to pass as male (which both men and women demanded of her, and then found unforgivable). If she were blackor he were female we wouldn’t be having such problems, and I for one would be in heaven. But at present such a candidate wouldn’t stand a chance—even if she shared Condi Rice’s Bush-defending politics.
I was celebrating the pivotal power at last focused on African American women deciding on which of two candidates to bestow their vote—until a number of Hillary-supporting black feminists told me they’re being called “race traitors.”
So goodbye to conversations about this nation’s deepest scar—slavery—which fail to acknowledge that labor- and sexual-slavery exist today in the U.S. and elsewhere on this planet, and the majority of those enslaved are women.
Women have endured sex/race/ethnic/religious hatred, rape and battery, invasion of spirit and flesh, forced pregnancy; being the majority of the poor, the illiterate, the disabled, of refugees, caregivers, the HIV/AIDS afflicted, the powerless. We have survived invisibility, ridicule, religious fundamentalisms, polygamy, teargas, forced feedings, jails, asylums, sati, purdah, female genital mutilation, witch burnings, stonings, and attempted gynocides. We have tried reason, persuasion, reassurances, and being extra-qualified, only to learn it never was about qualifications after all. We know that at this historical moment women experience the world differently from men—though not all the same as one another—and can govern differently, from Elizabeth Tudor to Michele Bachelet and Ellen Johnson Sirleaf.
We remember when Shirley Chisholm and Patricia Schroeder ran for this high office and barely got past the gate—they showed too much passion, raised too little cash, were joke fodder. Goodbye to all that. (And goodbye to some feminists so famished for a female president they were even willing to abandon women’s rights in backing Elizabeth Dole.)
Goodbye, goodbye to . . .
—blaming anything Bill Clinton does on Hillary (even including his womanizing like the Kennedy guys—though unlike them, he got reported on). Let’s get real. If he hadn’t campaigned strongly for her everyone would cluck over what that meant. Enough of Bill and Teddy Kennedy locking their alpha male horns while Hillary pays for it.
—an era when parts of the populace feel so disaffected by politics that a comparative lack of knowledge, experience, and skill is actually seen as attractive, when celebrity-culture mania now infects our elections so that it’s “cooler” to glow with marquee charisma than to understand the vast global complexities of power on a nuclear, wounded planet.
—the notion that it’s fun to elect a handsome, cocky president who feels he can learn on the job, goodbye to George W. Bush and the destruction brought by his inexperience, ignorance, and arrogance. Goodbye to the accusation that HRC acts “entitled” when she’s worked intensely at everything she’s done—including being a nose-to-the-grindstone, first-rate senator from my state.
Goodbye to her being exploited as a Rorschach test by women who reduce her to a blank screen on which they project their own fears, failures, fantasies.
Goodbye to the phrase “polarizing figure” to describe someone who embodies the transitions women have made in the last century and are poised to make in this one. It was the women’s movement that quipped, “We are becoming the men we wanted to marry.” She heard us, and she has.
Goodbye to some women letting history pass by while wringing their hands, because Hillary isn’t as “likeable” as they’ve been warned they must be, or because she didn’t leave him, couldn’t “control” him, kept her family together and raised a smart, sane daughter. (Think of the blame if Chelsea had ever acted in the alcoholic, neurotic manner of the Bush twins!) Goodbye to some women pouting because she didn’t bake cookies or she did, sniping because she learned the rules and then bent or broke them. Grow the hell up. She is not running for Ms.-perfect-pure-queen-icon of the feminist movement. She’s running to be president of the United States.
Goodbye to the shocking American ignorance of our own and other countries’ history. Margaret Thatcher and Golda Meir rose through party ranks and war, positioning themselves as proto-male leaders. Almost all other female heads of government so far have been related to men of power—granddaughters, daughters, sisters, wives, widows: Gandhi, Bandaranike, Bhutto, Aquino, Chamorro, Wazed, Macapagal-Arroyo, Johnson Sirleaf, Bachelet, Kirchner, and more. Even in our “land of opportunity,” it’s mostly the first pathway “in” permitted to women: Representatives Doris Matsui and Mary Bono and Sala Burton; Senator Jean Carnahan . . . far too many to list here.
Goodbye to a misrepresented generational divide . . .
Goodbye to the so-called spontaneous “Obama Girl” flaunting her bikini-clad ass online—then confessing Oh yeah it wasn’t her idea after all, some guys got her to do it and dictated the clothes, which she said “made me feel like a dork.”
Goodbye to some young women eager to win male approval by showing they’re not feminists (at least not the kind who actually threaten thestatus quo), who can’t identify with a woman candidate because she is unafraid of eeueweeeu yucky power, who fear their boyfriends might look at them funny if they say something good about her. Goodbye to women of any age again feeling unworthy, sulking “what if she’s not electable?” or “maybe it’s post-feminism and whoooosh we’re already free.” Let a statement by the magnificent Harriet Tubman stand as reply. When asked how she managed to save hundreds of enslaved African Americans via the Underground Railroad during the Civil War, she replied bitterly, “I could have saved thousands—if only I’d been able to convince them they were slaves.”
I’d rather say a joyful Hello to all the glorious young women who do identifywith Hillary, and all the brave, smart men—of all ethnicities and any age—who get that it’s in their self-interest, too. She’s better qualified. (D’uh.) She’s a high-profile candidate with an enormous grasp of foreign- and domestic-policy nuance, dedication to detail, ability to absorb staggering insult and personal pain while retaining dignity, resolve, even humor, and keep on keeping on. (Also, yes, dammit, let’s hear it for her connections and funding and party-building background, too. Obama was awfully glad about those when she raised dough and campaigned for him to get to the Senate in the first place.)
I’d rather look forward to what a good president he might make in eight years, when his vision and spirit are seasoned by practical know-how—and he’ll be all of 54. Meanwhile, goodbye to turning him into a shining knight when actually he’s an astute, smooth pol with speechwriters who’ve worked with the Kennedys’ own speechwriter-courtier Ted Sorenson. If it’s only about ringing rhetoric, let speechwriters run. But isn’t it about getting the policies we want enacted?
And goodbye to the ageism . . .
How dare anyone unilaterally decide when to turn the page on history, papering over real inequities and suffering constituencies in the promise of a feel-good campaign? How dare anyone claim to unify while dividing, or think that to rouse U.S. youth from torpor it’s useful to triage the single largest demographic in this country’s history: the boomer generation—the majority of which is female?
Old woman are the one group that doesn’t grow more conservative with age—and we are the generation of radicals who said “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” Goodbye to going gently into any goodnight any man prescribes for us. We are the women who changed the reality of the United States. And though we never went away, brace yourselves: we’re back!
We are the women who brought this country equal credit, better pay, affirmative action, the concept of a family-focused workplace; the women who established rape-crisis centers and battery shelters, marital-rape and date-rape laws; the women who defended lesbian custody rights, who fought for prison reform, founded the peace and environmental movements; who insisted that medical research include female anatomy; who inspired men to become more nurturing parents; who created women’s studies and Title IX so we all could cheer the WNBA stars and Mia Hamm. We are the women who reclaimed sexuality from violent pornography, who put childcare on the national agenda, who transformed demographics, artistic expression, language itself. We are the women who forged a worldwide movement. We are the proud successors of women who, though it took more than 50 years, won us the vote.
We are the women who now comprise the majority of U.S. voters.
Hillary said she found her own voice in New Hampshire. There’s not a woman alive who, if she’s honest, doesn’t recognize what she means. Then HRC got drowned out by campaign experts, Bill, and media’s obsession with everything Bill.
So listen to her voice:
“For too long, the history of women has been a history of silence. Even today, there are those who are trying to silence our words.
“It is a violation of human rights when babies are denied food, or drowned, or suffocated, or their spines broken, simply because they are born girls. It is a violation of human rights when woman and girls are sold into the slavery of prostitution. It is a violation of human rights when women are doused with gasoline, set on fire and burned to death because their marriage dowries are deemed too small. It is a violation of human rights when individual women are raped in their own communities and when thousands of women are subjected to rape as a tactic or prize of war. It is a violation of human rights when a leading cause of death worldwide along women ages 14 to 44 is the violence they are subjected to in their own homes. It is a violation of human rights when women are denied the right to plan their own families, and that includes being forced to have abortions or being sterilized against their will.
“Women’s rights are human rights. Among those rights are the right to speak freely—and the right to be heard.”
That was Hillary Rodham Clinton defying the U.S. State Department and the Chinese Government at the 1995 UN World Conference on Women in Beijing (look here for the full, stunning speech).
And this voice, age 21, in “Commencement Remarks of Hillary D. Rodham, President of Wellesley College Government Association, Class of 1969.”
“We are, all of us, exploring a world none of us understands. . . . searching for a more immediate, ecstatic, and penetrating mode of living. . . . [for the] integrity, the courage to be whole, living in relation to one another in the full poetry of existence. The struggle for an integrated life existing in an atmosphere of communal trust and respect is one with desperately important political and social consequences. . . . Fear is always with us, but we just don't have time for it.”
She ended with the commitment “to practice, with all the skill of our being: the art of making possible.”
And for decades, she’s been learning how.
So goodbye to Hillary’s second-guessing herself. The real question is deeper than her re-finding her voice. Can we women find ours? Can we do this for ourselves?
“Our President, Ourselves!”
Time is short and the contest tightening. We need to rise in furious energy—as we did when Anita Hill was so vilely treated in the U.S. Senate, as we did when Rosie Jiminez was butchered by an illegal abortion, as we did and do for women globally who are condemned for trying to break through. We need to win, this time. Goodbye to supporting HRC tepidly, with ambivalent caveats and apologetic smiles. Time to volunteer, make phone calls, send emails, donate money, argue, rally, march, shout, vote.
Me? I support Hillary Rodham because she’s the best qualified of all candidates running in both parties. I support her because her progressive politics are as strong as her proven ability to withstand what will be a massive right-wing assault in the general election. I support her because she knows how to get us out of Iraq. I support her because she’s refreshingly thoughtful, and I’m bloodied from eight years of a jolly “uniter” with ejaculatory politics. I needn’t agree with her on every point. I agree with the 97 percent of her positions that are identical with Obama’s—and the few where hers are both more practical and to the left of his (like health care). I support her because she’s already smashed the first-lady stereotype and made history as a fine senator, because I believe she will continue to make history not only as the first US woman president, but as a great US president.
As for the “woman thing”?
Me, I’m voting for Hillary not because she’s a woman—but because I am.
###

Sunday, February 24, 2008

SEX AND THE NEW LATINA


As part of our culture and traditions, Latinas are not supposed to be sexual. We are supposed to be nurturers, gatherers, cooks, nurses, psychologists, healers, personal assistants, coaches, cheffeurs, door mats, dumpsters, "aguantadoras", martyrs, and vivid reflections of the virtues of the Virgin Mary (who, according to the Bible, conceived without sex, and we are all supposed to do just that!). Sex is not in our anatomy, in our genetic package, in our minds, in our wishes or desires, according to the Old Latina Dogma. "Good" Latinas do not think about sex, do not want sex, do not initiate sex, do not enjoy sex...they just do it to please their husbands or their mothers and mothers-in-law when they want them to give them grandchildren. Somehow, though, mothers and fathers do not think about the process their daughters got involved in order to conceive; the notion of even attempting to imagine their virtuous little daughters involved in sweaty, dirty, passionate intercourse with a man is....eeky!


In the Hispanic culture, a no sex-talk policy means daughters are NOT having sex...How, then, are statistics of Latina teen pregnancies explained? How do young Latinas, who hold the throne in the statistics about teen pregnancy, get pregnant when their parents (or nobody else around them) are not talking to them about sex?


For some reason, the sex talk is difficult, unnatural, sinful, forbidden for most Hispanic parents. Parents do not talk to young Latinos about sex either. They just give them permission to have sex since they are born!


Since very early in our lives, Latinas are dogmatized to "surgically remove" sex from our vocabulary, our brains, and from between our legs. I know a lot of women, well into their 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond, who still cannot say the S word without whispering it and looking around to see who might have heard them. Shame, guilt, regret are feelings associated with even coming close to the S word or the S act.


Latinas need to change. Sex was given to us as part of our package. It is not dirty, it is not a sin, it is not something that is performed and enjoyed as a right to the "just for men" club. Sex is for all of us to enjoy, with education, knowledge, responsibility, respect, openness, and fun. As George Michael says in his song I Want Your Sex: Sex is natural, sex is fun! The New Latina has the right to fully enjoy a fulfilling sex life, just like men.

Friday, February 08, 2008

WOMEN AND MEN

Understanding he and she...many have tried, it is not an easy task, but here is one interesting approach...

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

A CADA DIA SU PROPIO AFAN


Este mensaje llegó a mi correo electrónico hoy. Me lo envió mi amiga Glomarie. No sé quién lo originó o a quién darle crédito de autoría. Lo publico, con el respeto de quien concibió estas ideas, por la sabiduría que encierran. A cada día su afán...


"Concentra tus energías para que hagas frente al desafío de cada momento. El único tiempo que puedes vivir es el presente. Vívelo a plenitud, amando de manera comprometida lo que haces y a quien eres, a quienes sirves y a quienes te sirven, a quienes te aman y a quienes te odian. No eches a perder, con resentimientos, el día de hoy. Vive y disfruta del placer de cada segundo, de cada minuto, de cada hora, amando, sirviendo y compartiendo".


Thursday, January 24, 2008

The Wage Gap Between Men and Women: Explaining the Unexplainable


The topic of the wage gap between men and women in the workplace is one with no easy explanation, maybe in part because the roots of this reality are rooted in the patriarchal societies we have all been raised in. Awareness is always the beginning of the path to enlightment. Lets all be aware and create favorable changes towards equality...


Wage Gap Between Men and Women: Explaining the Unexplainable



1. Women are perceived as unqualified to handle financial work.
2. There is the perception among men that women are not strong leaders.
3. There is a myth that women allow their emotions to influence administrative decisions.
4. Women and minorities are disproportionately represented in upper leadership positions.
5. Women and minorities are still concentrated in lower managerial positions in corporations.
6. Upper management is still dominated by white males.
6. Discrimination, racism, exclusion, prejudice, stereotyping, and bias in the workplace are existent realities.
7. Organizational culture is still built with white male constructs.
8. Women are still responsible for housework, which prevents them from interaction beyond work schedules, which creates segregation and discrimination for further promotion.
9. Women are not trusted and are not given as many opportunities as men for more demanding jobs, which could advance their careers, due to prejudice towards the capability of women to commit to the organization.
10. Organizations are constructed around the male norm which makes women not to see themselves as equal to men and men not to see themselves as equal to women, and women to have to work harder to prove themselves and act more like men to fit in.
11. Men exert power through economic, educational, judicial, and political control.
12. Women of color face double form of discrimination in the labor market due to their gender and ethnicity, and racial characteristics such as skin color reduce earning potential and attainment.
13. Hispanics are more likely to anticipate both gender and ethnic discrimination in the workplace.
14. Wage secrecy: wage data is kept secret so women and minorities can be underpaid without knowing it.
15. Women often undervalue themselves when negotiating salary, which labels them as underachievers and perpetuates wage discrepancies.
16. Retaliation from companies toward women who sue for wage discrimination.
17. Due to lower incomes, women tend to be them ones who stop their careers to stay home with the family.
18. Women-dominated jobs are not valued the same as men-dominated ones, paying 20% less on average.
19. Denial-companies do not want to admit discrimination.
20. Employers discriminate against women in childbearing age.
21. Women have fewer years of experience, work fewer hours per year, are less likely to work full-time, and leave the workforce for longer periods of time than men.

Friday, January 18, 2008

15 AÑOS Y UN FUTURO


En nuestra tradición hispana, una de las cumbres en la vida de una mujer es la llegada de su cumpleaños número 15. No sé cómo comenzó esta tradición y hasta ahora no se me había ocurrido explorar su origen y procedencia. Sin embargo, me parece interesante, por falta de otra palabra más adecuada en mi limitado léxico, cómo se defiende esa tradición contra viento y marea. La fiesta de quinceañera es vista como el regalo más importante que se le da a las jóvenes durante su vida (antes de su boda). En Latinoamérica deben existir variadas costumbres sobre cómo llevar a cabo este ritual de los 15 años. En Puerto Rico, los padres de la niña, la futura quinceañera, deberán costear todos los gastos relacionados con la fiesta de quince años para su hija. Esto representa una suma de dinero considerable, muchas veces docenas de miles de dólares. Los padres comienzan a ahorrar para este evento mucho antes de su llegada, o asumen deudas en instituciones prestatarias para poder incurrir en el gran gasto llegado el momento.

No importa la condición económica para que las familias quieran hacerle su fiesta de quinceañera a la niña. Pobres y ricos se envuelven en esta práctica, los pobres haciendo el “sacrificio” para “darle” la fiesta de quinceañera a su preciada hija. Me parece irónico que los menos pudientes hagan el llamado “sacrificio” para pagarle una fiesta de quince años digna de una princesa a su hija, pero luego en dos o tres años, cuando se acerca la fecha en que su hija se gradúa de escuela superior, los padres aleguen que no tienen dinero para enviar a su hija a la universidad. Me parece insólito que no se promueva el ahorro para financiar una educación post secundaria para la niña, pero se haga el “sacrificio” de pagar miles de dólares en una fiesta para unas horas.

La educación es un activo que no deprecia y le añade valor en todas las dimensiones a una persona. Una fiesta es un evento efímero, y su gratificación se acaba tan pronto acaba el evento. Irónico también es el hecho de que, en unos años, la joven mirará sus fotos de su fiesta de quince años y odiará su traje, su pareja, los trajes de las damas de su séquito, el traje que usó su mamá, su peinado, maquillaje, accesorios y zapatos. Es muy difícil que al cabo de los años la joven reniegue de la educación universitaria que recibió.

El futuro de una joven es más importante que una fiesta. No estoy en contra de la tradición. Me parece hermosa. Si la familia tiene las finanzas para costear el quinceañero y la universidad de la chica, adelante con ambos. Si la familia debe escoger entre un quinceañero y la educación superior para su hija, deben ganar su educación y su futuro.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

2008


Happy 2008!

Hard to believe, but we have come to see a new year coming our way. Holidays are once again behind us and forgotten, and the new year is fastly going. Slowly people are leaving behind new year’s resolutions to make way to the reality of everyday life. Happy 2008! May countless blessings come your way and do not cease.

¡Feliz 2008!

¡Increíble pero cierto! Otro año nos ha llegado. Las fiestas navideñas ya quedaron atrás en el olvido y el nuevo año está pasando con rapidez. Lentamente la gente deja atrás sus resoluciones de año nuevo para darle paso a la realidad de la vida. ¡Feliz 2008! Que incontables bendiciones vengan y no cesen.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

PENIS VS VAGINA

“Girls’ sexuality is only seen as a negation of the boy (Frithiof, 1985). Much of boys’ sexual identification is linked to the fact that they have a penis; parents often express appreciation when a boy displays his penis, which gives the boy the opinion that he has a valuable body part (Chodorow, 1988). When girls are seen to touch their sexual organs, however, reactions are often more negative. These differing values we carry with us on what is suitable or unsuitable behavior for boys and girls are passed on to the child right from birth as conscious or unconscious aspects of the conceptual world of their mothers and fathers, and later from other adults and surrounding society. Turner and Gervai (1995), claim that gender is one of the first and probably most obvious characteristics children learn in categorizing other people. Therefore, gender is also crucial to the development of self esteem and sexual identity”.

Abstract from Sexual Abuse of Children. Child Sexuality and Sexual Behavior by Ing Beth Larson, Dept. of Health and Environment, Division of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Linköping University.

Friday, December 14, 2007

LIFE CIRCUMSTANCES/ CIRCUNSTANCIAS DE LA VIDA


"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them." George Bernard Shaw.


"La gente siempre está culpando sus circunstancias por lo que son. Yo no creo en circunstancias. La gente que triunfa en este mundo es la gente que se levanta y busca las circunstancias que quieren, y cuando no las pueden encontrar, las hacen." George Bernard Shaw.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

ROMPEOLAS


ROMPEOLAS


Voy a hacer un rompeolas

con mi alegría pequeña...

No quiero que sepa el mar,

que por mi pecho van penas.


No quiero que toque el mar

la orilla acá de mi tierra...

Se me acabaron los sueños,

locos de sombra en la arena.


No quiero que mire el mar

luto de azul en mi senda...

(¡Eran auroras mis párpados,

cuando cruzó la tormenta!)


No quiero que llore el mar

nuevo aguacero en mi puerta...

Todos los ojos del viento

ya me lloraron por muerta.


Voy a hacer un rompeolas

con mi alegría pequeña,

leve alegría de saberme

mía la mano que cierra.


No quiero que llegue el mar

hasta la sed de mi poema,

ciega en mitad de una lumbre,

rota en mitad de una ausencia.

Julia de Burgos

Monday, December 10, 2007

LEARNING IS POWER, EDUCATION IS KEY

To be aware is to have open eyes to the world. When one lives in the dark, one cannot see. When there is light, one can see forward, see the path ahead, see the ground one steps on. To live in the dark is to live out of the reach of fortune. That is like to be uneducated.

You have heard me say more than once “do not sacrifice the present for the future”. Sometimes our life circumstances are so overwhelming that recurring to a quick fix seems like the right solution for our misfortunes. Thinking like that is like having an ailment and taking medicine to ease the pain instead of targeting the cause of the illness in order to live pain free and healthy for the rest of your life. Denying the future by attempting to only worry about the present poses serious risks to your quality of life for the rest of your life.

When you don’t know about an opportunity you cannot take advantage of it. However, once you know you can take action and grasp that opportunity to make the most out of it, for you and others. When you don’t know any better it’s very hard to change your circumstances. But when you learn, options unveil in front of you and all of a sudden you have options. The best way to stay connected, engaged, aware, awake, present, and in an advantage position is to through education.

All forms of education are good, and formal and informal education are great ways to make you a better individual. When you learn you can see and do things differently, change, evolve, grow. Education is the key that opens doors to endless possibilities and a better life. Hold the key that has been offered to you and open as many doors as you dare dreaming of. When you hold the key nobody can take it away from you. Open wide the doors to your future.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

NO ES DE DONDE SE VIENE/IT IS NOT WHERE WE COME FROM

NO ES DE DONDE SE VIENE, SI NO HACIA DONDE SE VA...
(Scroll down for message in English)
El pasado muchas veces nos tortura como un verdugo, recordándonos hechos, sensaciones, emociones, eventos, lugares, trayendo a la vida temores, miedos, y lo más oscuro de nuestro ser. Cargamos con nuestro pasado de muchas formas, en nuestros hombros, en nuestro pecho, en nuestra psiquis, en nuestro corazón, en nuestras acciones diarias y esporádicas, en nuestros sueños y la reflexión de nuestra imagen en el espejo. Nuestro pasado es parte de nosotros como huella indeleble, perpetuo, imposible de cambiar. Esta aquí para recordarnos de dónde venimos, pero no tiene que dictarnos hacia dónde vamos.

Mi madre biológica fue madre en su adolescencia temprana. La primera esposa de mi padre me torturó y abusó brutalmente físicamente. Crecí en condiciones de extrema pobreza y fui criada por personas de baja escolaridad. Durante toda mi vida fui perseguida por mensajes derrotistas y negativos que provenían de todos los ángulos y frentes. Sin embargo, en un momento me di cuenta de que yo tenía el poder de aprender del pasado pero dejarlo atrás para construir el futuro de mi preferencia. No es de dónde se viene, sino hacia donde se va lo que cuenta…

Hoy es el primer día del resto de tu vida. No lo vivas en el pasado. Tienes la capacidad de decidir tu futuro, desde hoy. Tu nacimiento y tu vida temprana no estuvieron en tu control. Hoy decide comenzar a edificar la vida que ambicionas y atrévete a ser feliz.
It is not where you come from, it’s where you are going what matters…Make today the first day of the rest of your life.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

EXPECTATIONS


Expectations are a normal human process. Whether we want to have them or not, whether we want to form them or not, whether we want to admit we have them or not, expectations are a normal result of being aware. When we know, we construct expectations based on that knowledge. When we assume, we construct expectations based on those assumptions. When we build relationships, we construct expectations based on the feelings we develop from those relationships.

Expectations come from within us and are geared toward others and our own selves. Everybody around us forms expectations for us. Expectations come from our family, friends, coworkers, and even people who do not know us personally. Personal expectations help us build the paths we walk on to fulfill our goals, dreams, and aspirations, but sometimes, those same expectations can put too much pressure to our own identity. We have expectations from all fronts and sorts, and often times it is easy to ride on the wave to fulfill everybody else’s expectations, neglecting our own. Many times, expectations are unfair or simply unrelated to our nature or reality, and those kinds of expectations can come from others and from us. Sometimes, the expectations we have for ourselves could be a reflection of those of others and not necessarily our own.

To live without expectations is probably one of the hardest things to do, as, for example, when we love, we expect to be loved in return, to the same degree and extent, and others who love us expect the same from us. Getting rid of expectations seems like getting rid of our humanity, however, having a kind and compassionate approach to expectations might help acknowledging that every human being is entitled to respond to the calling of their own expectations for themselves in order to stay truth to their core. When we accept and focus on our true, genuine, and purest expectations with regards to our lives and all that comprises it, we get closer to being at peace and irradiating it for others to see.

Friday, September 21, 2007

WOMEN DEEP/ MUJERES PROFUNDAS

Artículo en español le sigue...


I went to Puerto Rico last weekend. As usual, I saw a lot of people that are very important and dear to my heart. I was only there for a rather brief stay, however, the depth of my visit was not commensurate with the measure of the time I spent there. With time, I have come to realize when one wants to be with someone, one makes it happen. A minute, an hour, or a lifetime is time well spent when we are in the presence of the people who are close to our heart. As life gets in the way and we have less opportunities for physical proximity with our friends and family, even stunted moments are worth an eternity to our souls when we make time to spend with loved ones and people who we care about.

I was able to see two of my dearest friends and truly life sisters, and I treasured the hours we spent conversing, baring our souls, minds, and spirits to each other like only women can do. Of course, even when we spend a lifetime talking about our lives, thoughts, and feelings all the time in the world is never enough, however, even a minute is precious. I appreciated the legitimacy and profundity of our experience together because it mirrors the true nature of womanhood. Connecting at such a deep level, being able to get rid of flesh and speak from our essence without fear of being judged, misinterpreted, or degraded is a gift women give to each other. I am so happy to be a woman and to have such wonderful women in my life who I can call
mis hermanas.

Fui a Puerto Rico el fin de semana pasado. Como de costumbre, vi a mucha gente muy importante y querida para mí. Sólo estuve en mi isla brevemente, sin embargo, lo significativo de mi visita no es medible con la cantidad de tiempo que pasé allí. Con el tiempo he llegado a aprender que cuando se quiere estar con alguien hay que hacerlo realidad. Un minuto, una hora o una vida es tiempo bien empleado cuando disfrutamos de la presencia de la gente que amamos. La vida se antepone y nos ofrece menos oportunidades a diario para disfrutar de manera presencial de nuestros amigos y familiares. Sin embargo, aún los más ínfimos momentos valen una eternidad cuando tomamos tiempo para dedicárselo a las personas que importan en nuestra vida.

Tuve la oportunidad de ver a dos de mis mejores amigas y hermanas de la vida, y atesoré las horas que pasamos conversando, desnudando nuestras almas, mentes y espíritus como sólo las mujeres pueden hacerlo. Ciertamente las mujeres podemos pasar una vida entera hablando de nuestras vidas, pensamientos y sentimientos sin que todo el tiempo del mundo sea suficiente, pero aun un minuto es preciado. Aprecié la legitimidad y profundidad de nuestra experiencia juntas porque es reflejo de la naturaleza verdadera de lo que es ser mujer. Las mujeres nos damos el regalo de poder conectarnos a un nivel tan profundo, despojándonos de la carne y hablando de nuestra esencia pura sin temor a ser juzgadas, malinterpretadas o degradadas. Soy tan feliz de ser una mujer y de tener tantas mujeres maravillosas en mi vida a las que puedo llamar mis hermanas.